Empty
by Let-The-Wookiee-Win
Summary: Putting their recent past behind them, Han and Leia Solo set about repairing their damaged relationship. Being Han and Leia Solo though, no reconciliation was going to be without...interruption!
1. Chapter 1

_If you didn't read my last one, Aftermath, er..how come? Okay, it was long and wordy and maybe you started but didn't like it. That's all right, I'll recap here. _

_Following the death of his good friend and co-pilot, Chewbacca, Han Solo spiralled into depression and did the unthinkable – he assaulted his wife. Long story short, after a period of separation and a near-fatal attack on Leia by the Yuuzhan Vong, the couple are now working towards a full reconciliation. _

_By full, I mean, resuming a healthy sex life._

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It had been a long eight months since Leia had been discharged from the Medical Centre and into her husband's care.

Her daily physical therapy regime had been exhausting for them both initially, but over time they had fallen into a less punishing routine.

As the weeks went by and the time spent in therapy lessened, they had found time for each other again.

To talk about their past.

To examine their present.

To consider their future.

They had even, much to Han's amusement, attended counselling sessions preparing them for the next logical step in their reconciliation.

"_A sex therapist!" Han had scoffed. "Seriously?"_

"_A relationship counsellor, Han." Leia had corrected. "To assist us in becoming intimate again."_

"_I aint never needed any assistance in that area sweetheart!" He had laughed._

"_If you're not going to take this seriously..." She had shaken her head._

"_I **am** taking this seriously." He'd argued. "But a counsellor? To tell us how to make love?"_

"_No. To teach me to trust you again." She had held her head firm. "And to teach you to be tolerant."_

It had taken him a while to understand, but eventually he had.

That was how, this evening, they had found themselves for the second time in a month on the very edge of the precipice.

Their evening had been planned, just as their counsellor had advised.

Dinner.

Conversation.

Music they both appreciated.

Then they had retired to the sofa, Han in a soft shirt and pants, Leia wearing a shimmering full length gown of blue.

His kiss was soft, just as he had been instructed. His fingertips orchestrating minute shivvers of pleasure as they trailed over her neck, pushing beyond the single shoulder strap holding her gown in place, purposefully across her arm until he entwined his fingers with hers.

He broke the kiss in order to breathe.

"You're sure you've secured the door?" Leia gasped.

"Positive." He breathed, his lips brushing the velvety smooth curve of her throat.

"Only..." Her breath caught as she leaned her head back into the sofa cushions. "You remember what happened last time we got this far?"

"Luke's not going to interrupt us sweetheart. So relax." He told her, moving to nuzzle her earlobe.

"You're supposed to use my name remember." She sighed, her fingers flexing in his with anticipation.

"Sweetheart is a term of endearment, not a form of sarcasm." He whispered.

"Oh. Only sometimes it's hard to tell the difference." She gently pushed him away, her eyes glinting fire. "Maybe we should take this some place else."

Han's eyes met hers, his gaze matching her fervour.

"Help me up?" She asked.

For the most part, Leia could be self sufficient after her months of rehabilitation. She could shower and dress herself with only minimal support and was able to move from room to room using a crutch, more for confidence than by necessity, though she still needed some assistance in rising from low chairs, or from their bathtub, or from their bed.

Han helped her to her feet and led her slowly through to the bedroom.

The last time they had attempted this, their evening had been cut short by Luke dropping by to check on his sister's progress. He and Mara had been on Coruscant arranging for the usual vaccinations for their three week old son, Ben. And whilst Mara settled the babe following their journey, Luke had taken the time to visit without first ensuring that he would be welcome. It had been as much about Luke being a proud father as it had about him wanting to know how Leia was doing.

The new father was full of tales of Ben's first gurgle, first sneeze, first anything. Han had pointedly explained, he and Leia had experienced parenthood already.

When Luke had left, the mood had been broken. Something their counsellor had suggested they try to avoid next time.

So Han had made a point of choosing this evening carefully, knowing that there wouldn't be any distractions.

Once in their bedroom, he pulled his shirt over his shoulders and let it fall to the floor where he stood. He watched with increasing arousal as Leia propped her crutch in it's accustomed place and turned to face him.

"Han!" She exclaimed, tutting.

"What?" He shrugged.

"This is supposed to be romantic. The counsellor said..." She started.

"Are you gonna let some sex therapist tell us how to do this?" He interrupted.

"The counsellor said I had to learn to trust you again." She continued. "And you have to learn to be patient."

"Fine!" He sulked. "I'll put the shirt back on."

"No need." She smiled, coyly. "I always kind of liked looking at your chest."

"Yeah. I noticed." He grinned back.

Leia leaned into him, her arms circling his back, and pressed her face to one pectoral, feeling him tense it into firm muscle. His arms held her in place, one hand seeking the thicket of hair at the nape of her neck.

"The counsellor said it was important for me to know that you'd stop if I wanted you to." She said.

"Is the counsellor going to be in the bedroom with us the _whole_ night?" Han queried. "'Cos I gotta tell ya, she's really screwing with my mojo!"

"_Are_ you going to stop if I want you to?" She asked, large brown eyes appealing up at him.

"Sweetheart when I start, you are _not_ gonna want me to stop!" He grinned.

Her disapproving glare turned his grin into a grimace.

"Of course I'll stop." He assured her, one hand moving to stroke her cheek tenderly. "I was drunk that night Leia. Too drunk to even know my own name. Now I know that sex therapist has filled your head with her psycho-babble about trust and patience and learning to be all touchy-feely with one another again, but have I ever, _ever_, given you cause to doubt me?" He glanced briefly skyward. "Apart from that one night, obviously."

"Maybe..." She planted a soft kiss on his chest. "It's not you I doubt."

"Now what's that supposed to mean?" Han asked, puzzled.

"Just that...oh it's nothing." She shook her head.

"That trust she spoke of, cuts both ways sweetheart." He admonished her.

"It's just that we haven't, you know, been 'together' since that night." She blushed. "I don't know how I'll react."

"Well I was kinda hoping for the usual reaction. Curled toes; eyes rolled back in your head; lots of thrashing, moaning and screaming yes, yes, yes, 'til the neighbours bang on the walls." He laughed, snapping his fingers. "Oh wait, they moved. So that's all right then."

"Can't you ever take anything seriously!" She scowled and pushed him away.

"I am. Seriously. I _am_ taking this whole thing seriously." He laughed again. "But don't you see the absurdity of it? We're going to be making love, not solving the food shortage on Stellag V."

He closed the gap between them again and cupped her cheeks in his warm hands.

"I get to take my clothes off, you get to take your clothes off, we get to be all jiggy with each other and if you say stop I'll stop." He caressed her cheeks with his thumbs, adding. "Though I'm still kinda hoping for the toes, eyes and thrashing scenario."

"You're incorrigible!" She said, stifling her own laugh.

"You like me because I'm incorrigible." He tilted her face up to his and leaned down to kiss her, gently at first until he felt her soften then he deepened the kiss slinking his arms around her and tipping her ever so slightly back.

Her arms encircled him again, one hand flat against his back whilst the other squeezed and fondled a buttock.

"Han Solo!" She gasped when he broke their kiss. "Are you wearing jocks?"

"And what would you know about jocks?" He teased.

"Oh, I keep my ears to the ground." She boasted.

"Well, they are a lot closer to ground level than most people's." He smirked, adding. "All the guys are wearing them. Stars knows why, they pinch real bad around the crotch."

"Well, we can't have that." Leia chewed her bottom lip as she undid his belt buckle and then his pants, pushing them over his hips and letting them slip downward.

"I should maybe have removed my boots first." Han quipped, looking down at his pants rumpled around his knees.

"I guess it _has_ been a while. I forgot about those." Leia giggled. "Cute jocks though."

"Flatterer!" He winked at her.

"Should I...?" Her fingers flirted with the fabric of his underwear.

"You just hold that thought right there sweetheart." He wiggled the tip of her nose lightly with his forefinger before kicking one boot off and hopping on his bare foot as he struggled to remove the other. "Goddammit! Why'd they make these things so damn difficult to get off!"

He danced around in a circle until the boot finally gave in to his tugs and flew across the bedroom, swiftly followed by his pants. Twirling to face her, he held his arms wide. "I'm all yours."

Leia laughed. "I've missed you."

"Missed you more." He told her, earnestly.

"I doubt that." She said.

"See, there you go again with the doubts." He guided her hands back to the waistband of his undershorts. "Now, where were we?"

"I feel so nervous." Leia stared up into his face. "Stupid, huh?"

"Let me show you the way." He spoke quietly.

His hands covered hers and together they lowered the shorts past his abdomen and down his thighs, Han simultaneously ducking his head to once again seek out her lips with his. Her hands rested against his hipbones.

"Ahhhh..." He sighed and grinned at her. "That feels sooo much better."

He studied her.

"So, what do you think? Am I as good as you remember?" He jested, hands on his hips. "Or are you just checking out my goosebumps?"

"I'm going to take my dress off now." She said, ignoring his comments. "And I want you to hang it, not just let it get all wrinkled like your..."

"Stop, you're making me blush!" He interrupted, covering his genitals.

"I was going to say like your _clothes_!" She said, pointing at his discarded clothing.

"I know honey." He grinned.

Leia ignored him and reached up, slipping loose the bow of the single shoulder strap holding her dress in place.

"I'll need to hold onto you to step out of it." She said quietly, fingers still holding her strap firmly.

He nodded his understanding and waited for her to place first one hand, then the other on his shoulders. The dress fluttered to her feet where he scooped it carefully over an arm and, once she was steady, laid it over it's hanger and retied it's bow.

Crossing the darkened bedroom to stand before his naked wife, Han Solo smiled.

"You okay?" He asked, his hands squeezing her shoulders.

"It feels like the first time." She said, trembling in his arms. "Remember the first time?"

"Yours or mine?" He asked with a grin.

Leia looked up at him from beneath onyx eyelashes.

"I'm scared Han." She breathed.

"No need to be." He smiled softly. "I'm here."

Strong arms lifted her and laid her gracefully on the bed, then he laid himself on her other side.

"No underwear huh?" He arched an eyebrow.

"Hey, you're not the only one who can add a little spice to the relationship." She replied.

"Did that sex therapist suggest this to you?" He circled her tummy button with a forefinger.

"She's a relationship counsellor Han." She corrected him again.

"Did she make any other suggestions?" His finger drew in ever increasing circles.

"No. She had questions mostly." She responded.

"Like?" His finger brushed a particularly sensitive area of her abdomen and he felt her flinch at his touch.

"Like who reads the signals correctly, who initiates sexual contact, who's the dominant lover." She answered.

"You know, if _I_ asked those questions I'd be labelled a pervert!" He scoffed.

"She doesn't accept labels." Leia said and slid an arm beneath her pillow.

"I can think of at least one at fifteen hundred credits an hour, try sheister!" He growled.

"She thinks we're making progress." Leia sighed, closing her eyes.

Han's mouth connected with her neck, nuzzling the flesh with his lips and tongue, teeth lightly nibbling, twisting his body to partly cover hers.

Leia moaned and sank her fingers into his hair.

"Of course, tonight might be a setback." She murmured.

"Huh? How come?" He asked, raising a puzzled face above hers.

"Just checking you were actually listening to me." She smirked.

"Oh I'm listening sister." He smirked back. "I hear your little moans of gratitude. And I don't need no sex therapist to tell me I'm heading in the right direction."

"And what direction would that be flyboy?" Leia licked her luscious lips seductively.

"All the way to Heaven!" He cooed and sought her mouth in a passionate kiss, tongue chasing tongue.

One hand held her tightly to him, whilst the other roamed her soft creamy flesh seeking and then finding the swell of her breast.

He felt her arch toward him, her fingers digging into the back of his neck.

Deftly his fingertips caressed the soft underside of her breast and, feeling her gasp for air, he broke their kiss to move first to her throat then lower still to capture the hard ruby of her erect nipple. Tongue lapping, teeth nipping, mouth covering and lavishing the bud with all of his attention.

His hand slipped lower over the small plump belly, the result of carrying his three children, to cup the mound between her thighs.

Slowly, cautiously, his fingers began their tender exploration of her folds. Stroking back and forth, back and forth. Listening to her increasing sighs and moans. Fondling. Daring to probe a little deeper, pausing in anticipation of the blanch that didn't come. Caressing. Feeling her response to his touch.

Leia slid her leg along Han's, hooking it over his hip.

"Han!" She pleaded. "Make love to me!"

Han smiled to himself.

Of course, it was all mumbo-jumbo that sex therapist trotted out Han had told himself. Experience had taught him what Leia liked. What turned her on. What didn't. But during one of their joint sessions, she had insisted that it be _Leia_ to initiate first contact. _Leia_ who was to guide proceedings to their natural conclusion.

_Make love to me!_

Her words.

Signalling that proceedings could indeed progress to their natural conclusion.

Han moved stealthily, covering her body with his own, strong arms lifting him over her as his abdomen moved into position for a slow, solicitous and ultimately undeniably and excruciatingly gratifying penetration.

He hovered, letting them both adjust, sensing the merest hint of trepidation from her before her hands impacted with his chest, her legs wrapping around his hips, her back arching to meet him.

"One word, and I stop." He whispered.

She nodded both her understanding and her acceptance and leaned forward to plant kisses on his chest and throat and chin, her fingers tantalising against his nipples.

A younger Han Solo would have been unable to control his urges any further, but this mature version of himself paused a moment longer.

"Han?" Leia queried, her voice little more than a moan.

Their doorchime interrupted them.

Both froze.

And the chime sounded again.

"Ignore it. They'll go away." Leia said, her voice tremulous.

Another chime.

Followed by another.

And another.

And then the continuous drone of a finger held permanently to the buzzer.

Han hung his head, then spewed forth a string of violent Corellian curses whilst climbing off the bed.

"So help me Leia..." Han spat, pulling on a pair of sleep pants. "Unless that baby nephew of yours has learnt to dance the Corellian Tango, your brother is gonna die by his own lightsaber!"

"He's _our_ nephew Han!" Leia called as her husband stormed from the bedroom. "And Luke's in retreat, it's not going to be him at the door."

Leia pulled herself upright and debated whether to stay put or get dressed. With a sigh, she accepted that the mood had very likely once again passed and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

At the door to their apartment, Han Solo angrily palmed the door open.

"You better have a damn good reason to be here kid..." He growled, his mouth dropping open.

"Is wanting to see my parents a good enough reason Dad?" Jaina beamed.

"Jaina!" He exclaimed. "What...Why didn't you comm first?"

"Guess I didn't figure on having to make an appointment to see my folks is all." She said. "So, can I come in?"

"Sorry." He stepped aside before sliding an arm around her shoulders pulling her into his embrace.

"Whoa. Dad!" She stepped back, glancing down at his sleep pants and grinning. "Didn't mean to interrupt a work out!"

"Excuse me?" He blurted.

"It's Rogue-speak Dad, for the horizontal happy dance. Though I gotta say, it isn't usually used in connection with someone your age." She told him, moving into the living area. "Oooh! You cooked nerf! And is this your famous home-made-hot-diggity-dog-sauce?"

Han frowned in annoyance.

"Did you drop by just to eat leftovers?" He asked as she helped herself to a cold nerfsteak and smothered it in sauce.

"I just finished a six month tour of duty." She told him between chews. "And I gotta see the nerds in Counselling Services tomorrow for a de-brief."

"So, in the meantime, you figured you'd raid your old man's refrigeration unit!" He accused.

"Han?" Leia called. "Who is it? Who's there?"

"Don't mind me, I don't want to stop you getting it on with Mom!" Jaina grinned, sauce adhered to her teeth, lips and chin.

"Guess!" Han shouted back.

Leia's hand curled round the wall as she dragged herself into the dining area.

"You know I hate guessing games. And I nearly tripped over your boot struggling to get up on my own...Jaina!" Her squeal was ear-splitting.

"Hey Mom." Jaina's lips squelched with sauce. "Looking good."

"Did you know...?" Leia looked up suspiciously at her husband.

"Not until I opened the door." He replied.

"Just telling Dad." Jaina explained, licking her lips. "I just got off a six month tour so I gotta go see some counsellor tomorrow to make sure I haven't been...you know...'affected' by it."

"She couldn't comm first!" Han grumbled.

"I didn't know you two would be at it." She smiled sweetly.

"Oh we weren't doing anything that couldn't wait." Leia smiled back with a light flush.

"Yes. We were!" Han growled in his wife's ear.

"I can go. I still have a cot at the base." Jaina said, rising.

"Nonsense!" Leia exclaimed. "This is your home. You're always welcome here. Isn't she Han?"

"Humph!" Han's response was part affirmation, part belch.

"Where are your things?" Leia asked, crossing to hug her daughter.

"Dad left them in the hall." Jaina replied, keeping her sticky hands away from her mother's robe.

"_I_ left..." Han sighed, exasperated. "I'll go get them."

"Sorry about interrupting you and Dad." Jaina said to her mother after Han had slumped off to fetch her things. "How long have you two been shaking the space slug?"

"I realise that's how the Rogues talk, but please, not in front of your father." Leia admonished.

Jaina wiped her hands on a napkin and hugged her mother again.

"I'm just glad you two are yourselves again." Jaina smiled a genuine smile of affection. "The Galaxy feels a more peaceful place when your parents are in love with each other. Not everyone I know gets to say that."

"I'm sure." Leia nodded and they both headed into the living area to sit.

"You look well Mom." Jaina said. And she did.

"Your father's been taking real good care of me." Leia answered.

"And you're, you know, okay...with each other...in the, you know, the bedroom department?" Jaina asked.

"Jaina!" Leia blushed.

"It's important Mom!" Jaina said. "You two always managed to find time for each other, no matter how much work there was, or how badly the Galaxy needed you, or how much of a pain in the ass we kids were being. And now that you're retired..."

"Who's retired? I got my own freight haulage business to run." Han said, heading past them with a bag in each hand, two over one shoulder and another hanging from his neck.

Both females laughed.

"It's good to have you home sweetheart." Leia smiled.

"It's good to be home." Jaina smiled back.


	2. Chapter 2

Han had discovered a long time ago that his wife's bedtime regime was fastidiously observed.

Facial cleansing and toning.

Teeth scrubbed and mouth gargled.

Hair brushed and tied in a single plait.

Han has also discovered a long time ago how much he liked to watch his wife brush her hair.

Liked the way it cascaded down her back.

Liked it's swish and sway.

It had grown, not to the length it was before, but long enough for him to admire.

On days when necessity demanded she act more like an ornery old codger than even the ornery old codger's did, it was a salutary reminder of her all too obvious femininity.

Propped against his pillows, he watched her now as she brushed through her locks one more time...for luck...then twisted it into a soft braid.

"Are you even listening to me?" She asked him through the mirror.

"Every word sweetheart. What were you saying?" He grinned and patted the bed beside him.

Leia rolled her eyes, pushed herself awkwardly to her feet and joined him in bed.

Her crutch stored in it's customary place, she swung her legs up and curled into his arms.

"I was saying that I think Jaina looks tired. Exhausted even." She said into his chest.

"I'm not surprised the way she chomped through that nerfsteak!" He complained.

"You think she looks tired?" She asked, tilting her face toward him.

"Maybe. A little I don't know." He shrugged.

"And she was deliberately blocking me." Leia alleged, snuggling against him.

"And _you_ shouldn't have been probing her." He chided.

"I wasn't probing!" She told him defensively. "I was just trying to establish that she was all right."

"I think she looked just fine." He smiled. "When did my little girl get so grown up?"

Han felt Leia shiver against him.

"You okay sweetheart?" He queried.

"Those were my father's exact words when he kissed me goodbye the day I left to retrieve the Death Star plans." She hugged him tightly.

Han tipped her chin in his direction.

"Don't suppose you feel like picking up where we left off earlier do you?" He asked with a lop-sided grin.

"Not tonight." She answered, wrinkling her nose. "Do you mind?"

He repositioned himself under the covers and cradled her to him, one arm holding her protectively around the shoulders, the other draped loosely at her waist.

"Woulda been kinda nice." He muttered before smiling. "But no. I don't mind."

He pressed his lips to the top of her head and within minutes both were asleep.

Across the living area, in the bedroom that had been hers since her third birthday, Jaina Solo willed herself without success to sleep.

She hated the night.

Hated when her body was disinclined to obey her desire to relax.

Finally, after tossing and turning for what felt like forever, she threw back her covers and padded softly around her room. She rearranged a few oddments and books; checked her padd for the dozenth time for messages; filed her nails.

With a sigh, she left her bedroom and headed out to the kitchen.

She poked about the refrigeration unit but finding nothing of interest went back to the living area and stood taking in it's familiar contours in the stillness of the night.

Memories flooded back; dinners they'd shared when the family was still young; her father playing at Starships when she and her brothers were still small enough for him to lift aloft and circle around the room; watching holovids until they all fell asleep in a heap.

Wonderful memories of wonderful times.

Her family.

Back before the burden of responsibility had extended to her young shoulders.

Jaina's smile faded and she sank into the sofa as though the fate of the Galaxy rested on her.

Before they had all gone to bed, Jaina had asked to look at old family holos, which her father had all too readily produced. Her mother's soft sigh told Jaina that her father enjoyed showing off his holorecording skills to just about anyone who remained seated long enough to view them.

She grinned to herself as she found one marked 'Twins First Outing'.

Leia and Han had taken the twins to the park and, as far as Jaina could tell, they would have been about three or four months old. They were laid on a blanket kicking their legs in the shade of a tree, their mother to their side. Their father circled the three of them, his focus on the twins drifting then to their mother, still carrying a little of her baby stomach and most likely already pregnant with Anakin. She'd waved him off, pointing at the twins and saying something the micro-recorder failed to pick up.

Replacing the disc, Jaina pulled another labelled Leia and Me.

Jaina's eyes grew wide as it opened with her naked father laying atop her equally naked mother, arms and legs entangled, kissing for all they were worth. It cut immediately to a beach vacation, her blushing mother trying in vain to get her father to stop recording her. Next they were in their kitchen where her father stood behind her mother, his hands gripping hers as together they flipped pancakes. He deliberately flipped one toward her and when it landed on her chest burst out laughing at her outrage. Right before he apologised with a flurry of kisses to her face and neck.

There were similar such holos until Jaina found one of her mother, heavily pregnant and lying in a steaming bathtub, arms covering her breasts and one knee drawn up to preserve her modesty. She was again berating him for recording her, then her father spoke as his finger traced the linea negra from her mother's pubic bone to her belly button. Soft words of their love and of her devotion and of his absolute awe of all her mother was doing in bearing his children.

The screen turned dark and Jaina was about to eject it from the player when her father appeared once more, sitting back in his pilots chair in the Falcon, having obviously set the autorecord.

He smiled at the screen, his usual cock-eyed smile that others tried so hard to emulate but always failed.

"If you're watching this sweetheart." He intoned. "Either I've forgotten to stop it playing or...or I flew too close to that super-nova you've been warning me about one too many times and didn't make it home. I kinda hope it's not the latter. 'Cos that would mean I wouldn't get to take my last breath by your side. And when my time comes Leia, that sure as Hell is where I wanna be. You're the better part of me sweetheart. Without you, I'd be nothing. You're my confidant, my wife, my lover, and after Chewie, my best friend. I know I don't say this too often, but I love you Leia my darling. Love you so much." He lowered his voice. "You know I only said that about Chewie 'cos I know he's listening!" An angry Wookiee snarl made Jaina laugh.

He opened his mouth as if to say more. Smiled and nodded a knowing look at the screen.

It was a look Jaina had seen her father give her mother a thousand times.

Maybe he'd planned on adding more to the recording at another time.

But Jaina had a feeling he'd said all he needed to say.

And all that her mother would have needed to hear.

The look had said more than his words ever could.

Jaina breathed deeply and ejected the disc.

"Can't sleep?" Leia asked from behind her, causing Jaina to jump.

"Sorry. Body clock adjustment." She apologised. "Did I wake you?"

"No." Leia replied joining her daughter on the sofa. "That would be your fathers' snoring!"

"Since when did Dad snore?" Jaina asked.

"Oh, he got in a fight a couple of weeks back." Leia rolled her eyes. "A simple misunderstanding to hear your father talk. All I know is, he got a broken collar bone, dislocated shoulder and bloodied nose. And since then, he's been snoring like a Bantha!"

"Did he go to the Med Centre?" Jaina asked concerned.

"After I'd badgered him for three days, sure." Leia groaned, watching Jaina eject the disc. "What you got there sweetheart?"

Jaina showed her mother the disc and watched the blood drain from Leia's face.

"He promised me he recorded over that!" Leia spluttered.

"He did. There's just a tiny bit at the very start. But don't worry, you were trim back then." Jaina smiled.

"Is that more Rogue-talk?" Leia asked.

"No Mom." Jaina laughed. "It's young-person-talk. You were trim and Dad was buff. Trim and Buff are good."

"Glad to hear it." Leia mumbled.

Jaina selected another disc and inserted it into the player. A hologram appeared of a four year old Jaina, riding her father's shoulders, her twin brother bouncing along in a piggyback. Anakin's small fingers coming into view as he tried desperately to pry the holocam from his mother's hands but she was perfectly skilled at avoiding his grasp.

"My, you are in reflective mood tonight aren't you?" Leia observed.

"If you had to live your life over, would you have done anything differently?" Jaina asked, pausing the disc.

"Sure. Lots of things." Leia replied with an honesty Jaina wasn't sure she was expecting. "But not your father. And definitely not you or your brothers."

"Even though you didn't want to have us at first?" Jaina pressed.

"That's not entirely true." Leia sighed. "It's not like I didn't want you or Jacen or Anakin. I just wasn't very receptive to the idea of having _any_ children after I'd learned about my real father. But your Dad made me realise any children we had would have an enormous advantage over Vader; they'd have _us_ as their parents. And I think we did okay. Considering!"

"I know I've behaved like a complete Gamorrean toward you Mom! And I sorry." Jaina hugged her mother tightly. "Truly sorry."

"Oh sweetheart..." Leia laid her head to her daughter's head and reached out through the Force to

reassure and comfort her child. And felt movement in response.

"Oh. My. Goodness!" Leia exclaimed. "You're pregnant!"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

When Leia eased herself back into bed beside her husband, her mind was in turmoil.

"Couldn't leave her be, couldya honey?" He mumbled into the pillow beside her.

"I was right. She's in trouble Han." Leia whispered.

"She's a smart kid. Whatever it is, she'll find her own way out of it." He said, reaching to throw an arm over Leia and tug her closer.

"I don't think so. Not this time." Leia fretted.

"She's a Solo. Trust me." Han assured her and nuzzled her left shoulder blade. "No trouble's too big, no trouble's too small. Hey, I should make that my business tag-line."

He planted a kiss on her shoulder.

Leia rolled onto her side, considering what his reaction might be.

"Don't freak." She told him.

Han's eyes opened slowly.

"How much trouble is she in?" He asked cautiously.

"About eighteen years worth." Leia replied.

"What she do, crash a Star Cruiser into the General's private yacht?" He scoffed.

"Not that kind of trouble." Leia answered.

"Then what?" He shrugged one shoulder.

"The small infant kind." Leia said softly. "She's pregnant."

Han blinked and sat up slowly. Leia rising to sit beside him.

"P. Pregnant. Did you say pregnant?" He asked calmly.

Leia nodded trying to assess Han's state of mind.

"I'm not going kill your brother with his own lightsaber." He was shaking his head. "I'm gonna use it to slice Jagged Fel's sorry ass in half!"

"Jag's not the father." Leia laid a small hand on Han's arm.

"Then...then who?" Han looked puzzled.

"She wouldn't say. Just that she and Jag had different assignments and that she hasn't seen him for the past six months." Leia replied.

"Was she..." Han's face turned dark. "Did somebody hurt her? Force her?"

"No. Nothing like that." She assured him.

"I thought we brought her up better than to fall for a one night stand!" He cursed.

"It wasn't like that either." Leia countered. "She said it was just...just something that happened."

"Isn't that the same as a one night stand?" Han queried.

"No. They're totally different." Leia answered, defending Jaina. "A one night stand is an emotionless coupling between two people who's only intent is mutual gratification."

"Whereas 'just something that happened' is more like what you and Isolder shared?" He arched an eyebrow at her.

"You are needlessly baiting me!" Leia observed. "Besides, whether Jaina was the victim of an assault, loose morals or just 'something that happened' is immaterial, because she's decided that she's not keeping it."

"The Hell she's not!" Han barked.

"This is _her_ life Han. It's _her_ decision." Leia asserted.

"You stay here." He pointed his finger in her face and climbed off the bed. "You've had your say with her, now it's my turn. No Grandchild of mine is gonna grow up not knowing their own family."

"Han!" Leia called after him. But he was already stomping across the darkened living quarters and down the hallway to what remained his children's bedrooms.

He paused outside Jaina's room, his knuckle ready to rap on it's frame when he heard Jaina's voice. "It's not locked. Come on in Dad."

Palming the door aside, he found her sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"Mom told you, didn't she?" Jaina sighed.

"A baby!" Was all Han could say.

His little girl was sitting as she had a hundred times before for one of their father-daughter chats.

And it made his heart ache to think of someone pawing at her like she belonged to them.

"It's not an actual baby." She said stubbornly. "It's just a collection cells at this stage."

"How far along are ya?" He asked.

"Not enough for anyone to call it a baby yet." She dodged, her eyes not meeting her fathers.

"One month? Two? More?" He pressed.

"I haven't even skipped my first period yet." She glared up at him. "And before you ask, I know I'm pregnant because I can feel it inside me. And no, that still doesn't make it a baby because what I feel is just the cells thickening as they attach themselves to my uterine wall. At this precise moment in time, it's nothing more than a parasite."

"A parasite?" His mouth gaped.

"A blood-sucking parasite." She continued to glare at him. "Though not for much longer."

"Honey..." He sank onto the bed beside her. "Shouldn't we at least _talk_ about it first."

"There's nothing to talk about Dad. My mind's made up." She insisted.

"Look, I know your Mom and I haven't really discussed this but I know she'll agree with me wholeheartedly." He blurted. "You don't need to give your baby up for adoption, your Mom and I can take care of him, or her, and you can still have your career with Rogue if that's what you want."

"Adoption?" Jaina asked confused. "I'm not giving it up for adoption. I'm having it terminated."

"Abortion!" Han exclaimed.

"It's called a medical termination." She corrected.

"You can call it what you like, it amounts to the same thing." He spat.

"And _you_ can call it what _you_ like, I'm not going to change my mind." She said, unwavering.

"Now listen here young lady..." Han pushed to his feet, glowering and wagging his finger at her.

"It's not like I have to ask your permission or anything." She jutted her chin at him in defiance.

_Same damn look her mother used to give me!_ He thought.

Any further retort died on his lips at the sound of Leia's high-pitched scream.

He raced back through their apartment and found Leia lying, face down and bloodied, struggling to rise after tripping and falling into a glass-topped table.

"Okay sweetheart, I gotcha!" He scooped her easily into his arms.

"It's nothing. Just a scratch." She insisted, aware that blood had streaked her face and was soaking into her sleepwear.

"I'm getting you to the Medical Centre." Han told her.

"I'll drive." Jaina offered.

"You stay put." Han growled. "We're not done yet, but right now I need to take care of your Mom."

"Dad!" She tried to appeal as he disappeared out of the apartment.

Her hand lightly touched her abdomen as she felt the mutation continue. She'd hoped that they would understand. Maybe they still would. Maybe she was just going to have to be that little bit more honest with them.

Meanwhile, Leia sat on the biobed and waited patiently for the medi-droid to finish encasing her ankle in a cooling bacta bandage and a six inch bacta strip to clot the blood and knit the flesh wound to her forehead.

Han paced annoyingly back and forth while the droid finished up and rolled out of the room.

"An abortion Leia!" He finally exploded.

"I know. You said it already. Five times on the way over here and twice more on the elevator to the emergency suite." She groaned.

"Why didn't you get her an implant?" He asked accusingly.

"So, now this is _my_ fault?" She asked. "And will you please stop pacing, you're making my headache worse!"

"And just what did you think you were doing, wand'ring through the apartment without your crutch?" He demanded.

"I was trying to stop you making an asshole of yourself!" She snapped. "Obviously I was too late. As always."

"Well how was I to know she wanted..." Han was interrupted by a human doctor entering the room.

"Organa-Solo?" He asked.

"Guilty as charged." Leia smiled.

"Dr Kree." He smiled back. "I've reviewed your notes and I'm happy to tell you, you're free to go home. Two inhibitors when the pain becomes too intense." He told her and handed her a bag of painkillers.

"Thank you Doctor." Leia was all smiles as Kree left the room then turned an icy stare on her husband.

"Don't give me that look!" Han protested. "And don't tell me you agree with her either, because I know you better'n that!"

"I'd prefer it if things were different." She confirmed, accepting his offered hand of assistance in getting off the bed. "But it's not for us to judge. We raised her to be her own woman. We can't now try to stifle her just because her decision doesn't agree with ours."

Han growled something akin to his agreement and helped Leia to their waiting speeder.

"Seriously?" Han snapped, snatching a flimsie from his windscreen. "A parking fine! Can you believe that? I'm in a medical bay and I got a parking fine! Can this day _get_ any better!"

Once home, Han helped Leia change into fresh nightwear and although he had hoped to speak further with Jaina, Leia's disapproving pout persuaded him to leave it until morning. Without even trying, both were asleep almost before their heads hit their pillows.

Jaina, meanwhile, was meditating.

It was the closest she had been to sleep in the better part of a month and almost as relaxing.

Through meditation she was able to slow her heart rate and her breathing. And for the most part their voices, which still penetrated her mind on a daily basis.

It was something she had been warned to expect.

And something she hoped would fade soon.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Jaina remained deliberately still until late morning giving the impression that she had finally managed to bring her body clock in line with Coruscant standard time.

It wasn't true. She was still very much on Killik time but her meditation helped her to successfully hide the fact.

By the time she eventually emerged from her bedroom, her father was gone and her mother was working at the table on her personal screen. The cut to her forehead had healed overnight and her ankle, although still strapped, appeared not to be troubling her.

"Finally! She emerges from her pit of primordial soup." Leia scolded.

"You want some stim tea?" Jaina asked.

"If you're making some." Leia smiled and continued tapping at her padd.

"What're you working on?" Jaina enquired, returning with two cups of stim and tea and sitting beside her mother.

"My memoirs!" Leia explained and turned the screen toward her daughter.

"The Crook, the Wook and Me." Jaina read.

"It's just a working title. I doubt it'll ever get finished. And if it does, I doubt it'll ever get published. But so many people said I should write about my experiences." Leia continued.

"Am I in there?" Jaina sipped her tea.

"You will be, once I get that far." Leia scrolled back to re-read a couple of lines.

"Can you make me nicer than I really am?" Jaina pulled her legs up onto the chair and hugged them to her chest before slipping them back down to the floor. "Sorry. I know you always hated me sitting like that." Jaina apologised.

"I hated that your brothers copied you and neither one of them could get food in their mouths without dropping it down them first." Leia commented, lightly caressing Jaina's cheek. "And you already are nice."

"Girl meets nice boy, nice boy and girl get on. Girl listens to older man telling her nice boy cheated on her even though he wouldn't do that to her and allows herself to become infatuated with older man. Nice boy won't forgive her saying there's nothing to forgive, making him even nicer than before. Girl falls out with mother for no reason at all and comes home pregnant by someone who isn't the nice boy." She quoted.

"Don't you think you're being a little hard on yourself?" Leia asked.

"Did I meet a nice boy, yes. Did I believe every lying word from Isolder's lying mouth, yes. Did Jag have every right to shun me, yes. Am I humbled that he doesn't want to run me through with my own lightsaber, yes." She ticked them off one by one on her fingers. "Am I now pregnant by someone who isn't Jagged Fel, yes. Ergo, I am not a nice person."

Leia pushed her padd away from her.

"You know, I never told your father, but early in our marriage I found myself in a similar position to you. We'd been married about six, maybe seven months and everyone was talking about when we might produce 'an heir'. Your father was away on business and I, well, I thought I might be pregnant. Now I had been very clear that children were simply not an option for me, so I figured if we'd...you know...had a little accident, then it was up to me to do something about it." She took a sip of her tea and collected her thoughts. "I also figured if I told your father, he might try to persuade me that it was a sign from the Force or something so it was probably best if I didn't tell him."

She paused, reflecting.

"And did you?" Jaina asked after a while. "Did you have do something about it?"

"No." Leia's lips formed a thin smile. "When I got to the Medical Centre, it turned out it was just a false alarm. I hadn't been paying proper attention to the calendar and the downside to continued space travel is it can really throw your cycle out of whack! But you know, after I came home...here to this apartment...with your father away and all, I don't think I ever felt more empty. Or more alone."

Jaina watched her mother take another small sip of tea, her eyes watery with remembrance.

"Whatever you decide Jaina, you know your father and I will support you." Leia turned her full attention on her daughter. "Just be sure it _is_ what you want. Because once the decision's made, there's no going back."

"I will." Jaina nodded her confirmation.

"So, what time's your psyche evaluation?" Leia asked brightly.

"Oh poodoo!" Jaina exclaimed. "I gotta go. See you later."

And she was gone. In the same whirlwind as she had arrived.


	3. Chapter 3

The de-brief session was held in private, for which Jaina was immensely grateful. She'd had a sinking feeling that 'he' might be there and if that had been the case she might not have been able to keep her silence.

Her responses were monitored and overall it seemed her reintegration from the hive mind of the colony she had been responsible for, was progressing within expected parameters.

Coping mechanisms were suggested for her altered sleep patterns as well as ways of dealing with the occasional vocal intrusion by the hive collective.

She was granted two weeks leave on full pay after which she would have to attend a further psychometric evaluation prior to receiving her next assignment.

That evening Han had arranged for them to enjoy dinner and a show at one of Coruscant's premier Comedy Clubs.

He was under strict instructions from Leia not to hassle Jaina with baby talk but was finding it difficult keeping his promise.

They were sat in a semi-circular booth with Leia between husband and daughter.

Dinner had been very enjoyable and both Han and Leia couldn't help but surreptitiously observe their child as she laughed, applauded and whooped at some of the acts.

As the latest comedian exited the stage to rounds of applause, Jaina excused herself to utilise the facilities.

"Can't I at least ask her how she's feeling?" Han grumbled.

"Just let her enjoy herself!" Leia berated, leaning into him, a sultry look on her face. "And I might let you enjoy _yourself_ later."

Han's lip twitched into his trademark grin as her hand gently squeezed his inner thigh.

"You should know..." He whispered, his breath tickling her ear. "That I'm not wearing any jocks tonight."

"And you should know..." She whispered back. "Neither am I!"

"You two want me to sit at another table?" Jaina smirked as she slid into the booth beside her mother.

"I was just telling your mother how beautiful she looks tonight." Han said, his hand draped around Leia's back, hand resting against her hip.

"And I was thanking him." Leia added, snuggling against him.

"Sure you were." Jaina mumbled under her breath.

"How'd the psyche go?" Han asked and getting a sharp elbow in the ribs for his trouble.

"You don't need to hide the knives or dismantle the lightsabers." She assured them.

"Phew!" Han sighed. "That's good. 'Cos I knew there was something I'd forgotten to do before we came out tonight."

"I have to go back in two weeks for reassignment. So until then..." She smiled sweetly. "How would you feel about a house guest?"

"Sure. Who you got in mind?" Han quipped and indicated another round of drinks to the table.

"Open mic's tomorrow night Dad." Jaina told him. "But don't give up the freight haulage business just yet."

"Two weeks?" Leia asked. "That's enough time, you think?"

"I have an appointment at the Medical Centre in a couple of days." Jaina replied. "So, I'll be over the termination and looking forward to the future by the time I'm due to take up my next assignment."

"So I can't even ask how she's feeling but you get to imply that she's gonna find it hard after two weeks leave!" Han scowled at Leia.

"So." Jaina took a long pull of her father's beer. "You heard from Jace?"

"Only that he's enjoying his work with Rogue strategists." Han replied retrieving his drink from Jaina.

"I bet he is." Jaina smirked.

"Why? What do you know?" Leia asked.

"Only that he has the same taste in women as Uncle Luke." Jaina smiled. "I heard he's been seeing a pretty spunky redhead for the past three or four months."

"Where'd you hear that?" Han queried with a shrug.

"Bumped into Tahiri Veila after my psyche." Jaina explained.

Han and Leia exchanged a look.

"You don't know who Tahiri Veila is either do you?" Jaina questioned.

"Should we?" Leia asked, puzzled.

"She's Anakin's girlfriend." Jaina laughed.

Han and Leia looked at one another again.

"I guess we've been a little self-obsessed." Leia admitted.

"No bad thing." Jaina pulled her father's beer once more to her lips. "You've had the Galaxy on your shoulders for long enough."

"Our sons have girlfriends, our daughter's..." Leia started.

"Pregnant. The word is pregnant." Jaina pointed out. "For another couple of days anyway."

Leia watched her daughter take another long drink of her father's beer and settle back for the next act.

She squeezed her husband's hand and exhaled silently as Jaina whooped loudly when Chalinar Zale took to the stage.

"What did you expect?" Han muttered into Leia's ear. "One family night out and she'd change her mind."

Leia's head shook imperceptibly. "I just...I just expected some compassion." She muttered back.

When the show ended, they rode their speeder back to their apartment. Han and Leia in front, Jaina in the back retelling her favourite funnies from the comedy show. Her parents made appropriate noises, but neither were really interested.

"Hot chocolate?" Han asked as his wife and daughter sat in the living area. Both agreed readily.

The night had turned wet and windy, a miserable reflection of the mood between the two females in his life.

"I get it Mom. You don't approve." Jaina started the conversation. "But let's agree on one thing, this is _my_ body."

"It's not that I don't approve. I just think you need more time to consider your options." Leia countered.

"I have considered my options. And a medical termination is the best one all round." Jaina responded stubbornly.

"It's more convenient, yes." Leia argued.

"It's more appropriate." Jaina stated through pursed lips.

"Okay ladies." Han carried three mugs into the arena and handed the first to Leia. "With extract of orchid bean for my lady. And a dollop of mallow paste for..."

"The mother to be?" Jaina interrupted, taking a mug.

"I was going to say, 'for my other lady'." Han said and sat beside Leia, opposite Jaina.

"We shouldn't be fighting over this." Leia soothed.

"Bad for the baby?" Jaina asked, accusingly.

"Yes." Leia's eyes sparkled defiantly. "But worse for us."

"I don't want us to fight either," Jaina relented. "I just want you to see that it's best for everyone. I can't be a mother. Not yet. Maybe not ever. And I certainly can't be a mother to something I don't want. How is that being fair to anyone?"

"She's got a point." Han observed and sipped his hot chocolate, feeling Leia's glare.

"What happened to 'the Hell she's not!' when I told you she didn't want to keep the baby?" Leia snapped.

"I've had time to think," he replied, "and Jaina's right. A baby needs nurturing, right from the get go. And if she feels so strongly that this isn't right for her, then the baby most probably already knows that. He'll most probably be grateful to be aborted and sluiced away like the rest of the effluence this city flushes every day. I know I would."

"Is that supposed to change my mind?" Jaina curled an eyebrow upward. "You think I don't know what a medical termination is?"

"Okay sweetheart. You tell us, you tell us what it is." Han folded his arms and watched as Jaina's chin jutted furiously in his direction.

"Better than the alternative!" She hissed, slammed her mug down and stormed off to her bedroom.

"I want to be supportive, really I do." Leia sounded sad. "But I can _feel_ her conflict, I can _feel_ that she's not sure what she wants."

"You sure it's not your own feelings getting in the way?" Han wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tilted her face to his. "Tell me truthfully that you wouldn't just love to have a baby around the place again."

"Aren't you baby enough? I can barely keep up with you." Leia laughed, avoiding his question.

"Even after what happened?" Han pressed. "After losing our child?"

"We agreed. We had three wonderful children and that was enough." Leia's eyes were misting and Han knew he'd said enough.

He folded her in his arms and held her.

Even after all these years the hurt was so close to the surface it only took the slightest scratch for it to return.

It was like Alderaan all over again.

And although he loved that he saw a side to her no one else did, it cut him to the core that he had to see it at all.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning, Jaina was up and out before her parents stumbled bleery-eyed into the kitchen for breakfast.

A note had been stuck to the refrigeration unit.

"Spending the day with Tahiri. Don't wait up." Han crinkled the note and tossed it in the recycling unit. "Great."

"Maybe it's what we all need, some time away from the situation." Leia suggested.

"Some time with her childless friend to remind her how great it is not having a child around all the time!" Han moaned and set about brewing some caf.

He leaned against a counter and sighed.

"I dunno Ley. One minute I'm cool with it, I mean it _is_ her body after all. And the next I'm thinking how selfish and self-centred she's being. I mean, it's not the kid's fault. He's the innocent in all of this." Han protested. "I mean, what was she thinking?"

"We've had our moments too Han. Times when we've abandoned ourselves to the moment."

"Name one!" He challenged.

"That first time, on Corellia. Did it even occur to you that I wasn't protected?"

"Hey! You came on to me, remember?" He said defensively.

"Could you imagine the scandal if I'd come back pregnant." She mused.

"Mon Mothma woulda pursed her lips so tight she'd have sucked her own face inside out!" Han laughed, then sobered. "Your brother would probably have been pissed too!"

"I was actually thinking about the Hapans and their offer of an alliance." Leia corrected.

"Don't you mean when Isolder's attempt to outbid me for your virginity!" Han grumbled, Leia's glare sending a shiver down his spine. "Okay. But that was the one and only time."

Leia gave him a knowing look.

"When?" He pursued.

"Tall grasses. Cool waterfall. Small baby twins asleep. Ring any bells?"

Han considered. It obviously meant something to Leia and he had a feeling it was supposed to mean something to him too, but in truth back then they had been forced to snatch whatever time alone they were able between sleeping babies and New Republic duties. In the end he had to admit defeat.

"No. You got me." He shrugged as the distiller indicated the brew was complete.

"Nine months later Anakin was born. _Now_ does it ring any bells?"

"Oh. Yeah." He grinned at her. "_Very_ tall grasses. _Real_ cool waterfall. One red-hot momma!"

He remembered how she had nursed the twins beneath the shade of a tree and argued it would be irresponsible to leave them when he had first tried to coax her into the pool. His cajoling, however, paid dividends when she finally relented and slipped beside him, naked, into the cool waters. Their swim was brief, Leia insisting the twins would soon wake and need her, but the couple had been able to stretch together on a soft blanket and allow the afternoon warmth to dry their skin.

And they had made love.

Soft, gentle, tender love designed to give the other maximum pleasure.

"Okay. So we've been reckless more than once. All the more reason for her to hear us out." He reasoned, handing her a caf.

"I don't think she's listening to anyone at the moment. Not even her own body." Leia suggested.

"If it was you, what would you do?" He asked quietly, watching her through the steam rising from his caf.

"If I was her? Her age...the career she could have before her...no loving husband or partner by her side..." Leia sighed. "I don't think there'd be any other way to call it."

"Guess we should get right behind her then." He agreed.

They chinked caf mugs while in a cantina across Coruscant Jaina chinked her glass against Tahiri's.

"Starting early aren't you?" Tahiri asked, inspecting the contents of her glass.

"Trust me, the ale tastes better than the caf in these places." Jaina advised and took a mouthful, savouring the taste.

"So, is it good to be home? Bet your folks have missed you." Tahiri queried.

"They still think I'm eight years old." Jaina rolled her eyes and took another mouthful of ale.

"They're 'olds'." Tahiri took a drink too, wrinkling her nose. "We're 'youngs'. And 'youngs' are always eight years old to 'olds'!"

"They're not so bad I guess. They just...it's just that I'm their little girl. That's all." Jaina mumbled.

"Are you all right?" Tahiri frowned.

"Sorry. Six months of isolation can really stunt your interpersonal skills if you let it." Jaina straightened in her chair. "Fortunately, I didn't let it."

She chinked her glass against Tahiri's again and Tahiri smiled nervously at her friend.

"You weren't completely alone though." Tahiri noted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jaina demanded.

"Nothing." Tahiri shook her head, confused. "Only that you were with a whole colony of Killiks, so it's not like you were completely alone."

"No. Of course." Jaina drank back half of her ale. "So, how's that no good little brother of mine looking after you?"

Tahiri blushed and averted her eyes.

"That well huh?" Jaina grinned.

"He's...he's very...attentive." Tahiri flushed a deeper rosy hue.

"Have you two..." Jaina started to ask.

"No!" Tahiri exclaimed, turning puce.

"Are you sure?" Jaina pressed, teasing her.

"We're both Force-Sensitive's here Jaina." Tahiri observed, smiling sweetly. "You don't pry into my private affairs and I won't pry into yours."

"Just checking he's taking good care of you." Jaina held her hands up as if to defend an attack.

"What's next for you?" Tahiri changed the subject.

"A couple of medicals and then I get my next assignment." She replied with a shrug.

"I thought you already had your psyche exam." Tahiri sounded confused.

"Like I said, six months isolation can have an adverse effect. They're just being cautious." Jaina explained. "How about you?"

"Ani and I are going back to Jedi Boot Camp." Tahiri's smile faded. "But don't tell your Uncle Luke I called it that."

"I won't." Jaina laughed. "You know, I might ask to come with you."

"But...but..." Tahiri stammered. "But...you fly with Rogue. Why would you want to give that up?"

"Change of scene." Jaina shrugged. "I dunno. Just considering my options."

Jaina pushed her ale aside and fell silent.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Tahiri asked, studying her friend. "You seem kind of, I don't know, 'closed' to me."

"Tired I guess." Jaina lied. "My body clock has been all over since getting back."

"Listen. Ani and I are going to go out for food tonight. How about you go home, get a couple of hours sleep and join us. We were thinking of going to Four Fat Fingers. I hear they serve the best nerf and Ani says I haven't lived 'til I've had nerf." Tahiri suggested.

"He's half right. You haven't lived 'til you've had my Dad's nerf. He makes this sauce to go with it, it's to die for!" Jaina grinned.

"So you'll join us?" Tahiri pressed.

"I'd like that." Jaina smiled. "And you don't mind? About today I mean?"

"Nah. I know how space travel can throw you all out of whack." Tahiri rose. "See you later then."

They touched their foreheads with two fingers in salute and parted.

Jaina sat back, her eyes scanning the cantina as a hand passed briefly over her abdomen.

What was she thinking? That she could go to Yavin Four and have her baby there.

Then what?

Leave him in the care of the Jedi and return to Rogue.

Jaina invisibly shook her head, 'it' wasn't a baby and 'it' wasn't a he. Not that she was aware of at least.

It was stupid of course.

Better all round if 'it' no longer existed. And her stupid, stupid mistake could be forgotten.

A glass of something fizzy slid across the table stopping in front of her. She looked at it with an arched eyebrow.

"You look like the kind of girl who appreciates something more than just ale in her glass." The presumptuous young man said.

_Presumptuous and completely gorgeous!_ She thought.

"Another time perhaps." She pushed the glass away.

"Hmm. That's what I thought." He swung the seat Tahiri had vacated around, rear to table and straddled it.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me." Jaina raised her voice a little. "I'm not interested."

"Oh, I heard you." He shrugged. "But it's a free Galaxy. Figured I'd sit awhile and just admire the view."

He gazed at her, long dark eyelashes framing dazzlingly seductive blue irises.

"You have a name?" He drawled.

"You know when to quit?" She asked.

He laughed. A deep reverberating laugh that made her stomach flip.

"Reay." He extended his hand toward her. She ignored it. "And you are?"

"Leaving." She told him and started to rise, just as a group of Rogues entered the cantina.

She sat as quickly as she had risen.

Reay glanced at the group of back-slapping, loud-mouthed, laughing pilots then back at Jaina.

"Do I detect the merest hint of..." He sniffed the air noisily. "Anxiety."

"Are you suggesting I smell?" She glared at him.

"I'm suggesting someone in that group has upset you." He nodded toward the men gathered at the bar.

"No." Jaina watched the Rogue's backs as they linked arms around shoulders chatting and laughing. "Just made my life more complicated than it really needs to be right now."

"I could escort you out of here if you'd like." Reay offered.

"I don't even know you!" Jaina frowned.

"Sure you do, sugar." Reay smiled, rose and offered her his arm. "You've been waiting for me all your life."

Tentatively Jaina took his arm and allowed him to guide her from the cantina, hiding her from the Rogue's line of sight, into the bright afternoon sunlight.

"Thank you." She acknowledged. "Although I was quite capable of leaving under my own steam."

"Oh I'm sure. But where'd the fun be in that?" He asked.

"Jaina." She offered him her hand. "Jaina Solo."

"My apartment's close by." Reay suggested. "No funny stuff. Just somewhere to relax and talk without the risk of running into anybody's ex-partner."

_Gallant, presumptuous and gorgeous! Maybe my luck's changed._ She thought.

"No funny stuff." She repeated. "You promise? 'Cos I'm a crack shot plus I carry a lightsaber."

"I promise." He confirmed. "That would ruin a completely beautiful day. Not to mention my finest threads."

His apartment was indeed close by. They'd been walking maybe ten standard minutes when they entered a low rise tenement building that generally housed skilled, but ultimately low paid essential workers.

His apartment was modest but clean and Jaina was surprised by the somewhat pleasant view from the small bay window.

"So, what are you? Mechanic? Maintenance?" She asked, running a finger along an edge checking for dust.

"Worse." He groaned. "Military Cadet. These are our digs."

"You're not on base?" Jaina rewound the words in her head. "Excuse me, did you say 'our' digs?"

"Me and my brother." Reay explained. He peered at the meagre contents of his refrigeration unit and grimaced. "You want a drink? We got beer, wine, ale, water."

"Water would be fine." She answered, letting her eyes study him.

He was relatively tall. Relatively lean. Relatively well presented. And relatively the most gorgeous hunk of human flesh she'd seen in a while.

"Aren't you a little old to be a military _cadet_?" She accepted the bottled water with a nod and sat on the single sofa, Reay sitting beside her. Close, but not close enough to encroach on her personal space.

"My brother and I, after we left school, we wanted to travel before we settled into a career." He lifted a bottle of beer to his lips. "So we bought this rickety old skiff and worked our way across the Galaxy. And it was great 'til we suddenly realised we could do all that for free by joining the Republic Navy."

"I coulda told you that!" She scoffed and swallowed a mouthful of water.

"Yeah. I could tell you were a smart cookie." He grinned. "We also figured we'd see a bit of life before settling down."

"So, you've seen the World and you've experienced life." She held his gaze. "You ready for settling down now?"

"Not yet." His grin widened. "I promised myself there was one more thing to do first. And that was to kiss a truly beautiful woman."

"Lucky you met me then." She smiled coyly. "I know quite a few truly beautiful women."

His fingers brushed hers as he took the bottle from her hand and placed it on the floor at his feet.

"No funny stu..." His lips cut off the rest of her sentence and he pressed himself firmly against her.

Jaina's mind raced.

_Why not? Your track record's not so hot so far, so why not?_

_One failed romance._

_One lying Prince._

_One night of passion. Not even passion. Just fornication really._

_So why not?_

His hand was inside her tunic, fumbling it's way to squeeze hard and uncomfortably at a breast before pushing lower trying to get past the waistband of her suit pants.

Gagging at his relentless assault on her mouth, Jaina finally managed to twist her arms from beneath his weight and push him away.

"For kriff sake are you trying to suffocate me!" She gasped.

He was breathing hard and assessing how to proceed.

"Well." He considered his words. "You didn't shoot me. So I guess I haven't completely blown it."

"This 'life' you and your brother were so eager to see, did it actually include any women?" She arched an eyebrow at him.

"Ones we didn't pay for you mean?" He asked. "Not many."

"I should say." She commented and straightened her attire. "Sit back."

"You going to use your lightsaber?" He sounded nervous.

"No. I'm going to show you how not to asphyxiate your partner." She replied, straddling his lap.

"First, hands on hips." She arched her eyebrow at him again. "My hips. Not yours."

"Sorry." He smiled nervously.

"If you don't mind me saying, a good looking guy like you can't have many difficulties getting himself a date for the night." She regarded him through narrowed eyes.

"Oh, you'd be surprised." He leaned forward and she gently pushed him back.

"Steady there handsome, no need to behave like a Hutt." She told him and leaned in close, her breath a whisper on his skin. "Now, this is how a woman likes to be kissed. Or at least how this woman likes to be kissed."

She adjusted her head slightly and moved in to caress his lips with hers.

He remained still as her arms loosely encircled his neck and her tongue lightly traced the outline of his lips.

"You like?" She breathed, her words tickling his flesh.

"I like." He grinned against her face.

"Good." She grinned back and kissed him again, opening her mouth to him as his tongue explored hers. His hands slid to her buttocks and pulled her against his hips, the firmness of his arousal pressing against the fabric of her suit pants.

She broke the kiss, her eyes flying open as his arms gripped her abdomen to his and he groaned then sighed, smiled and sank back into the sofa.

"That's it?" She exclaimed. "Tell me you didn't just...in your pants..."

"I may be humanoid, but I'm not a human sugar." He sighed again. "But on the positive side, I recover real quick. You want to take this through to the bedroom?"

"I'd rather you take yourself for a shower!" Her nose wrinkling. "That's disgusting."

"I can shower first if that's what you want." He offered. "Then maybe you could teach me how to slow down."

"I don't think I'm that good a teacher." She half-sneered and tried to get off him but his arms held her fast.

"Ohh..." He groaned, grinning. "When you do that sugar you make me feel..."

"I can feel how you feel!" She hissed as the growing tension in his groin pressed again into her.

"I need some release!" He groaned again and clutched her to him, his mouth crushing hers.

Struggling with him was pointless. Physically he was stronger and adrenaline was just making matters worse. If she couldn't free herself by fair means then she would have to resort to alternative tactics.

"Okay, I've tried doing this the nice way!" She told him.

Since there was nowhere to push him to, she had no option but to use the Force to push herself backwards, off his lap and landing with a thud on her rear end across the room.

Her lightsaber was in her hand and giving out a steady hum before Reay even realised she was out of his embrace.

"I'm going to say this to you once, s_ugar_, so you listen up." She said, climbing to her feet. "This stays between us. Both my Mom and Dad are guest lecturers at the Military Academy and if they even get a sniff of what happened here I will personally come back and use my lightsaber to cauterise your genitals. Got it?"

"I get it." He said, regarding her. "You're their little Princess. Wouldn't want them thinking you're nothing more than a cheap tease."

"I am _not_ a tease!" She hissed.

"The coy smiles...the let me show you how I like to kissed...And you came here remember. Quite willingly." He nodded and shrugged. "You _are_ a tease. You just don't know it."

He closed his eyes and thrust his hand down the front of his pants.

Jaina wasn't sure if she was horrified or just revolted. She didn't stay any longer to decide. Without taking her eyes off him she exited the apartment, the tenement and the neighbourhood.

_Seriously?_ She asked the stars. _Failed romance, lying Prince, night of sex. Was it really too much to ask that she meet someone who wasn't just out to screw her!_

Jaina shook her head at herself barely paying attention to where she was going. Then she was back on the street outside the cantina she had vacated earlier and her world grew just a little bit darker.

The group of back-slapping, loud-mouthed, laughing Rogues chose that exact moment to leave the cantina and were blocking her way.

"Hey Solo!" Zekk bellowed in surprise. "Thought you were still with the 'Ants'."

"Hello Zekk." She smiled but avoided eye contact.

"You look sensational." He said, circling her. "Doesn't she look sensational boys?"

They all agreed. Loudly.

"Say, when you gonna get over that pussyhead Fel and let a real man show you what it's all about?" Zekk asked crudely.

"You think calling Jag a 'pussyhead' is the right way to win my affections." Jaina chided.

"Why not join us? You can tell us what he's really like." Wurth Skidder suggested.

"Yeah. Be good to have some ammunition the next time he shows his cocksure face with us." Zekk agreed.

"Sorry boys, dinner with the family. You know how it is." She smiled again, still not looking at anyone in particular.

"Aw come on Solo! Just one drink." Zekk pressed. "For old time's sake."

"Fine." Jaina capitulated. "One drink."

Zekk slapped an arm around her shoulders and steered her in the direction they were headed.

The cantina was loud and dark, despite the bright afternoon sunshine.

The Rogues made themselves comfortable in a booth, Jaina being boxed in by Wurth Skidder one side and Kyp Durron the other.

Zekk caught the barman's eye and indicated a round of ale's which duly arrived.

"So, how'd you find the 'Ants'?" Kyp asked, gulping his ale.

"They're called Killiks Kyp, not 'ants', and I found them to be very pleasant people." She replied, sipping at her drink.

"It wasn't intimidating then?" Ganner Rhysode queried.

"Not at all." Jaina answered. "I can understand how _some_ might find it so, but _I_ certainly wasn't intimidated."

"You didn't find it a little unnerving..." Raynar Thul asked. "Being part of their collective?"

"On the contrary." She said. "I found it humbling that they should welcome me into their social circle."

"Social circle?" Ganner laughed. "You make it sound like a club."

"You mean like being a Rogue, maybe?" Jaina accused.

"Except Rogues don't know what you're thinking every minute of every day." Raynar countered.

"It's called being part of a collective." Jaina stated.

"It's called being intrusive." Raynar shot back.

"You're being an idiot." Jaina snapped.

"I'm being honest." Raynar laughed.

"Would you like us to leave you two alone?" Zekk grinned. "Were you this feisty with Fel, Solo?"

"My relationship with Jagged Fel is none of your concern!" Jaina snarled. "You know what? I really think we're done here."

She pushed past Kyp Durron, bumping the booth table and spilling some of the drinks.

"What's _her_ problem?" Zekk grumbled, grabbing his glass. "Bad bikini wax?"

The Rogues burst out laughing, each watched Jaina storm out of the cantina with their own thoughts about her. Some were of admiration, some were of barely restrained lust, one was of knowing.

Knowing her in the most intimate of ways.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Good day sweetheart?" Leia beamed at her daughter as she breezed back into the apartment.

"Men are assholes!" Jaina spat.

"All men or one man in particular?" Leia asked.

"Was Dad ever an asshole?" Jaina asked, sighing.

"Oh, all the time. Still is occasionally." Leia smiled.

"Do they ever _not_ think of ways to get into your underwear?" Jaina continued.

"Time to worry sweetheart, is when they stop thinking of you that way." Leia pushed to her feet, crossed the living area and sat beside Jaina. "What is it honey? What's happened?"

"He's here." Jaina replied, sullenly.

"He?" Leia raised an eyebrow.

"The sperm donor." Jaina looked up at her mother through dark lashes.

"Here. You mean on Coruscant? Or out in the Hall?" Leia questioned.

"I wasn't expecting to see him." Jaina let her head fall back on the sofa. "Not until after at least."

"After? Oh...the termination." Leia realised. "He doesn't know, I take it?"

"And he's not gonna." Jaina answered. "He's...well, he's..."

"An asshole. You already said." Leia suggested.

"Not ready for the heavy burden of responsibility parenthood would bring." Jaina corrected.

"But if you have no intention..." Leia started.

"I've been thinking." Jaina looked directly into her mother's eyes. "If I were to continue with my Jedi training then, maybe, I could keep it. You know, not have it terminated after all."

Leia's heart fluttered.

"Is...is that what you want?" She asked her terrified daughter.

"I was going to meet Anakin and Tahiri for dinner tonight, but I think I'm going to cancel." She avoided her mother's question. "I have some stuff to think about. And I feel real tired all of a sudden."

She rose, yawning and heading in the direction of her bedroom.

"You want some dinner first?" Leia called after her.

"I'll grab something later. Night Mom." Jaina waved a hand and was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

When Han arrived home he was heartened to hear Jaina might be changing her mind, though reminded Leia not to allow her hopes to rise too quickly. Their daughter had been a contradiction from the moment she had been born and could change her mind again just as quickly.

They agreed not to broach the subject with Jaina again. But in their minds' eye, each could picture her holding a tiny bundle in her arms and a room so fragrant with love it was almost overpowering.

They ate, just a light meal. Then settled back on the sofa so Han could watch the Corellian Dreadnaughts get thrashed in their latest smashball game.

They'd taken to reclining like this, Han propped against the cushions, Leia's head on his chest, one slender leg nestled between his, her hand checking his heart rate wasn't rocketing.

"Aw come on guys! At least _look_ like you're trying." Han howled at the screen.

So far this season the Dreadnaughts had lost every match. It was starting to be embarrassing. Plus, it really pissed Han off!

With a groan at the final score, another punishing defeat, Han muted the screen and looked down at his wife curled against him.

"You want me to search for something romantic and just as nauseating as that game?" He asked and crooked an eyebrow in query.

"You know what I would like?" Her voice was quiet and husky, her eyes full of meaning. "An early night."

"An early night or an...'early'...night?" His lopsided grin sending all the right signals in return.

"I think we both know what kind of early night I'm talking about." She pushed up onto one elbow. "And not to put too finer point on it, the window of opportunity will close in a few days and then it'll be another week before we can try again. Then there's your work schedule to consider and..."

"Okay, I get it." He laughed, then lowered his voice. "Though I have to admit I didn't realise you were still having 'those'. I thought that was just an excuse to keep me at arms length."

He helped her up and she slapped him playfully.

"Just how old do you think I am?" She frowned.

"D'you think I should check she's okay before we turn in?" Han asked, nodding in Jaina's direction.

"Wouldn't hurt." She replied. "I'll...er...go and get myself ready."

Han felt a familiar stirring in his groin and kissed her forehead before heading to Jaina's bedroom.

The door wasn't locked and opened to his palm command.

"Jaina, you all right honey?" He called softly. Getting no response, he stepped a little further into the room.

"You awake sweetie?" He peered into the darkness, listening to his daughter's steady breathing.

"Sweet dreams little Princess." He said quietly and backed out of the room.

Jaina lay, curled on her side, her thoughts and feelings a turmoil. She wouldn't cry. It was unseemly and childish and...okay, maybe one more tear, but then no more, she told herself.

"Spark out!" Han reported as he entered his bedroom. "Poor kid must be whacked."

"Being pregnant can do that to you." Leia smiled and patted the bed beside her. "You're sure she's all right though?"

"Let's get something straight sweetheart." He palmed the door closed and keyed in it's locking mechanism then lowered the lighting just a tiny bit more. "It's just you and me tonight. No sex therapist judging my every move and no pregnant daughter observing us either. Okay?"

"You're the Captain, Captain." She agreed and pulled the sheet back for him to lie beside her.

Her skin seemed to shimmer in the soft lighting and Han tried hard not to growl his approval.

Until the night Han had finally gone completely off the rails and assaulted his wife, he and Leia had enjoyed a healthy sex life.

The same passionate beliefs they showed in their professional or political careers had transferred into their private lives seamlessly. And when they came together it really did appear as though two halves of the same thing had somehow been joined.

Han stripped out of his clothing, leaving it in it's usual way strewn across the floor, and slipped in beside her.

"One word." He reminded her. "And I stop."

She smiled at him dreamily and pressed herself to him, their lips locking as his communicator buzzed.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me!" He sighed and rolled onto his back.

"It could be important." Leia said, stifling the urge to laugh.

"Or it could be your brother, sorry to disturb us but just wondering how that sister of his is doing!" He sighed deeper.

"Won't know unless you answer it." Leia observed.

"I am so going to kill that little Jedi twerp." Han mumbled as he rolled to one side and yanked his comlink from the beside cabinet before yelling into it's transceiver. "What?"

"Er...Captain Solo? Spaceport Security here Sir." A shaky young male voice said. "I'm sorry to disturb you Captain, Sir."

"What is it kid?" Han softened. "I left my tail light on or something?"

"I'm afraid there's been a disturbance." The young man reported. "And...er...I'm afraid your ship has been...um...vandalised Sir."

"Vandalised?" Han sat up in bed, turning his back to Leia. "The Falcon?"

"We managed to apprehend the culprit Sir." The boy assured him. "But he...ah...got away when we were taking him in for questioning."

"Got away how?" Han's mood was less cordial.

"Well...Sir...the thing is...he...we didn't know it at the time, but he...er...he was a shapeshifter. And, he well, he...er...shifted. Sir."

"I'm on my way. Solo out!" Han closed the link and breathed deeply.

A soft hand closed over his arm.

"It's okay Han. Go." Leia spoke quietly.

"I gotta at least see what he's done to her." Han explained.

"I know." She leaned forward and kissed his shoulder. "I understand."

"I don't deserve you." He said, rising and dragging clothes up from the floor and re-dressing.

"We've waited this long." Leia dropped her legs over the side of the bed. "A while longer won't hurt."

"Then, why do I have a feeling that window of opportunity just slammed in my face?" He asked.

"Because..." Leia pulled her nightgown over her head. "You constantly underestimate me."

Sharing a loving kiss, Han left to check on his beloved ship and Leia decided to check on their beloved daughter.

"Sweetie?" Leia coaxed. "You all right?"

Jaina was still turned into her pillow and at first glance seemed to be asleep. On closer inspection, however, Leia could see Jaina's shoulders shake as she shed her tears.

"Jaina. Sweetheart." Leia eased onto the bed beside her and gently stroked her hair. "Talk to me honey, _please_."

Jaina slowly rolled onto her back, her face flushed and eyes swollen from crying.

"Oh sweetheart!" Leia held out her arms and Jaina gratefully accepted the comfort of her mother's embrace.

"I've been thinking about it over and over." Jaina stammered when she could finally speak. "It's just so hard, trying to do the right thing for everybody concerned."

"Sshhh." Leia soothed.

"Termination is the most obviously solution." Jaina continued. "If I don't...if I continue with the pregnancy, I'll have to tell my Commanding Officer. Not to mention the father. And he's no more ready for fatherhood than I am for motherhood."

"You need to calm down honey." Leia tried to wrap Jaina in the envelope of her own living Force.

"You and Dad have just about got your lives back! I can't turn it all upside down again." Jaina sniffed.

"You worry about yourself." Leia assured her. "Your Dad and I can look out for ourselves."

"And all the time there's this incessant chattering!" Jaina carried on. "I didn't get it at first. I thought it was the Killiks. I thought it was the hive mind still in tune with mine."

"It's okay honey. It's all going to be okay." Leia tried to reassure.

"No Mom. You don't get it." Jaina pulled back a little to look at her mother. "It's not the Killiks at all. It's her. I can hear her."

"Her?" Leia already knew, but couldn't stop herself asking.

"XX." Jaina replied. "It's a baby girl. And oh Mom! I can't _not_ have her now. I love her. I love her so much!"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

While Jaina and Leia were talking, Han was surveying the damage to his first true love with a critical eye.

Bad enough her attacker had somehow managed to bypass the security code to lower the boarding ramp, inside, the Falcon had been systematically trashed. Though Leia would probably ask him how he could tell the difference, Han could tell. Han knew his baby's every last nuance. And he knew she'd been treated badly.

Very badly.

Nothing he couldn't fix. Nothing at all he couldn't fix in time.

"There, there Baby." Han soothed his ship, stroking her hull. "Daddy's here now."

"I'm so sorry, Captain Solo, Sir." The boy Han had spoken with earlier was nervously pacing as Han examined his ship.

"You did this to her son?" Han asked, hooking a thumb at the Falcon.

"No Sir. Of course not Sir." The boy stammered. "The Millennium Falcon she's...well, she's a legend Sir."

"Then you have nothing to apologise for, do you son?" Han said.

"Except that he got away." The boy reminded and wished he hadn't. "Sir, he did say one thing before he escaped. He said he knew your daughter."

"My daughter?" Han queried. "What exactly did he say about my daughter."

"Only that he knew her Sir." The boy swallowed.

Han waved the boy away and started making an inventory of the work he needed to undertake.

First and foremost he needed to fix the locking mechanism. That the vandal knew Jaina would explain how he gained access, he must have used Jaina's palm print to bypass the security trap. Just how well he knew her wasn't important right now, the Falcon was his priority.

Han boarded the ship again and checked her slowly room by room. Mostly it was small stuff, cables pulled from their moorings; smuggling compartments opened and searched; a couple of good bottles of bribing brandy smashed.

He was in the cockpit scratching his head in irritation and shock when his comlink buzzed.

"Solo." He growled.

"Han!" Leia gasped.

"Oh, hey sweetheart. I'm gonna be here for a little while yet." He told her. "The damage isn't so bad, it's nothing I can't fix. Ah, but honey, he left a pretty childish deposit on the pilot's chair and, I'm sorry sweetheart, but I think we're gonna have to burn the whole of the cabin bedding. You do not want to know what he did in _there_!"

"I need you home Han." Leia demanded. "Right now."

She closed the link and Han sensed the Falcon was going to have to wait.

"Hey, kid!" Han called to the hovering security detail as he descended the Falcon's ramp. "You think you can keep my ship from being picked clean?"

"Me Sir?" the boy asked.

"Yeah, you kid." Han confirmed. "What do these guys pay you?"

"Minimum an hour Sir. But I also get medical." He replied.

"I'm needed at home. I'll pay you double if she's still in tact when I get back." He looked sternly at the boy before adding. "This is between you and me and it's a one off. I don't want your buddies turning up for private security sessions."

Han headed back home as quickly as the night time traffic would allow and took the stairs up to the floor his apartment was on in threes.

Leia was waiting for him as he entered the apartment.

"What's up?" He queried.

"Pretty much everything Jaina swallows." Leia answered. "And guess what?"

"I get to clean it up?" Han's lip curled suspiciously. "'Cos I already got two loads of bodily fluids in the Falcon to sanitise!"

"She wants to keep the baby." Leia beamed.

"You called me back for this?" Han groaned. "We already had this conversation. And I thought we agreed not to get our hopes up."

"You don't understand." Leia explained. "You remember how I was with the twins, before I knew I was pregnant I mean. How I kept hearing things, feeling things that I couldn't understand. Well, Jaina feels them too. Except she understands them, she understands that they're her baby."

Leia reached out and grabbed Han's arm.

"She wants to talk to you." Leia told him. "She wants your approval."

"Bit late for that isn't it?" He saw the look of consternation cross Leia's face. "Fine. She has it. Just don't expect me to share a cigar with the father!"

"Dad." Jaina stumbled into the living area. "Thought I heard your voice."

"Your Mom was telling me you'd changed your mind about the baby." He said.

"Are you angry?" Jaina asked.

"I'm..." He struggled to articulate his feelings. "I'd have preferred you to be married. To a nice boy. From a nice family. Nice parents...brother...sister maybe. Good prospects too would have been good. But I'll settle for wanting whatever you want. And if you want this baby, then I want it too."

He hugged her tightly.

"Thank you Daddy." Jaina spoke into his chest, trying to hold back tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't seem to control my emotions."

"It gets better." Leia advised her, trying to keep her own tears from falling. "For a time at least."

"There are some practicalities we need to talk through sweetheart." Han pointed out. "The father for one thing."

"Not tonight." Leia chided her husband. "Let's not spoil the moment."

"Dad's right." Jaina sighed, then corrected herself. "You're both right. I still have a lot of things to decide upon. But tonight, I just want to be with you guys."

She wrapped an arm around her parent's waists, Han one side, Leia the other.

"No can do honey. My other best girl needs my urgent and undivided attention." Han said.

"Whoa Dad! Too much information." Jaina smirked and eyed her mother.

"Not _that_ best girl!" Han rolled his eyes.

"Pity. It's about time you two shook your tail feathers." Jaina giggled.

Han and Leia looked at each other.

"I have no idea." Leia shrugged and kissed Han's cheek. "Go look after your other best girl. Then these two best girls can talk about swollen ankles and chapped nipples."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Han spent the next two days working almost non-stop to repair the damage to his beloved ship. During that time, Jaina cancelled her planned termination and had her pregnancy officially confirmed at the Medical Centre. Not that she had been in any doubt. She'd known almost from the moment of conception.

Other decisions were harder to make. In the short term, she had decided to leave Rogue. Not that she would have much choice, once her pregnancy became common knowledge. She hoped that her Uncle Luke would allow her to join him and continue with her Jedi training, at least until the baby was born. To that end she'd invited Luke and Mara to dinner, without telling her parents, who were cuddled together on the sofa.

"It's not often we get dinner cooked for us. Can it get any better than this? You know she's doing nerf tenderloin?" Leia asked, sighing contentedly.

"Tenderloin?" Han arched an eyebrow. "We must be paying her too much allowance!"

Leia slapped him playfully before snuggling in closer to him.

"This is so nice." Leia gently tightened her arms around Han's waist.

"Hmm. You know what would be nicer?" He asked, a lopsided grin spreading across his face.

"For the Dreadnaughts to actually win a game?" Leia suggested, grinning up at him.

"Nah. The way they're playin' that would be a miracle. No, nicer would be the night to ourselves. I mean, the night _all_ to ourselves." He answered.

"I think we've probably kissed goodbye to nights _all_ to ourselves for the foreseeable future." She replied. "Besides, that particular window closed this morning."

"Boy! When that window closes it sure slams shut quickly." Han grumbled, feeling Leia giggle against him. "And you can stop that too. I really don't need to feel you jiggling against _my_ tenderloins!"

The comment caused her to laugh harder just as their doorchime sounded.

"Saved by the bell!" Han observed and disentangled himself from Leia's embrace, though not before leaning down and whispering. "Luckily for you. I was getting close to giving you a good tittyfuck!"

Leia blushed furiously as her barefooted husband crossed to the door, palming it open with an amused grin on his face. The grin faded slowly as he came face to face with his equally amused brother and sister-in-law.

"Luke!" Han said and glanced between him and his wife. "Mara!"

"You seem surprised." Luke tried to hide his smile.

"Is...it...your...Anniversary?" Han asked tentatively through his still grinning teeth.

"No." Luke shook his head.

"Ours?" Han swallowed nervously.

"No. You old pirate!" Luke laughed and followed Han into the apartment. "You invited us, remember?"

"I did?" Han looked puzzled. "When was that exactly?"

"Jaina called. Said there was something you wanted to discuss with us." Mara explained.

"Jaina. Makes sense now." Han nodded.

"No Ben?" Leia asked, disappointed.

"Aha!" Luke held up a finger. "Observe."

He flipped off his Jedi cloak to reveal six week old Ben Skywalker, strapped to his chest in a baby-sized hammock.

"I saw a woman once carrying a baby just like that. Tripped, went flat on her face, crushed the baby underneath her." Han said as Luke's face paled.

"Thanks Solo. Really didn't need your input." Mara admonished.

"Uncle Luke, Aunt Mara." Jaina appeared from the kitchen, wiping her hands on an apron.

"Not late are we?" Luke asked.

"No. I deliberately told you an hour earlier than necessary." Jaina smiled. "Can I hold him?"

"Sure honey." Mara helped detach Ben from his father and placed him in Jaina's arms.

She held him tenderly, rocking him gently.

"He's been fed, burped and changed so he should sleep for a little while at least." Mara advised.

"He's so beautiful." Jaina said, not taking her eyes from his tiny face.

"That'll be the Skywalker genes." Mara stated.

Mara was a striking woman. Perhaps not beautiful in the most commonly held belief of what beauty should be. But striking all the same. Her opinion of herself, however, lay considerably lower than that.

"What do think Mom?" Jaina asked.

"Beautiful. Beautiful and perfect." Leia smiled. "You're a natural." She added, catching Jaina's eye.

"Is that my sauce I can smell burning?" Han frowned.

"The sauce!" Jaina carefully handed Ben to her mother and raced off to the kitchen.

"Mara." Leia patted the sofa beside her as she lay Ben on her lap, his legs over her belly. "Come and tell me all about him."

"You wanna beer?" Han asked Luke. "I got some of that piss-water you like so much."

Luke grinned and slapped his friend on the back.

With a scowl from Jaina, Han grabbed two beers from the refrigeration unit and gave the alcohol free one to Luke.

They stood off by the balcony door while their respective wives chattered about baby stuff.

"So." Luke grinned up at his friend. "You two got something to tell us?"

"Best you don't try second guessing stuff kid, you're likely to be disappointed!" Han took a long drink of his beer.

"Come on! I'm her brother." Luke laughed. "When was the last time Jaina cooked dinner? Plus, you only gotta look at her."

Han gazed over at his wife, gossiping away with Mara and softly stroking her nephew's face.

"Whatever it is you think you're seeing kid, you're way off base." Han told Luke.

"The bloom to her cheeks? The little roundness to her belly?" Luke laughed. "You trying to tell me you're not following in our footsteps and having another baby?"

"I'm telling you kid, the only way we're gonna be parents again is by immaculate conception!" Han took another long drink of beer. "And I wouldn't go mentioning the weight increase to Leia unless you wanna get up close and real personal with the lighted end of her lightsaber."

"But, I thought you two were..." Luke lowered his voice. "Intimate again."

"Yeah. Well. We've been trying kid. But something keeps getting in the way. You stop by. Jaina comes home. Windows of opportunity slam shut." Han explained. "She's even had us seeing this therap...this, Counsellor."

"I know. Leia told me." Luke said.

"What else she tell you?" Han growled.

"Oh, you know." Luke blushed.

"No. I don't know. So enlighten me." Han's expression was hard.

"Well...you know...just that she misses the...you know...the physicality of your relationship." Luke blushed deeper.

"She's not the only one! Longest damn drought I've ever known. Kid, are you sure she said that, 'cos sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who does the missing." Han emptied his bottle. "You wan' another one?"

"Trust me, Leia's needs are just as great as yours. But...if it's not Leia...I definitely sense something surrounding a..." Luke followed Han into the kitchen. "...new life...a baby."

"You told him!" Jaina exclaimed and glared at her father. "How could you!"

"Jaina! Jaina's pregnant?" Luke looked aghast.

"No honey. _You_ just told him. All by yourself." Han grabbed another bottle of beer from the cooler.

"You weren't supposed to find out like that Uncle Luke. I wanted to talk to you first. That's why I invited you, Aunt Mara and the boys over for dinner." Jaina wiped her brow.

"The boys are coming too?" Han almost screeched. "I am _definitely_ cutting your allowance."

"We always used to discuss things as a family." Jaina said. "Back when we _were_ a family."

"Hey! I'm trying real hard here. An' so's your Mother." Han answered her angrily.

"What's with all the yelling?" Leia asked, tapping the floor in the doorway with her crutch. "Don't you know there's a baby trying to sleep out there!"

"Dad's being an asshole." Jaina stated.

"Your daughter invited her brother's over for dinner too." Han told Leia.

"Well, that's great." Leia smiled. "We haven't had a family dinner in ages."

"So she can tell them about the baby." Han continued.

"They're going to have to know sometime." Leia reasoned.

"I just don't want them thinking...you know...that she's..." Han stumbled over his words.

"Easy? Promiscuous? A slut who sleeps around and gets pregnant her first time?" Jaina offered.

"Anyone who says that about you will have me to answer to!" Han pointed the neck of his beer bottle at her.

"Dad, you've been away too long." Jaina told him. "The boys aren't teasing teenagers any more. They're both in caring relationships. And maybe my being pregnant will remind them that they need to be careful too."

"We _did_ always discuss things as a family." Han acknowledged and nodded. "And we need to start doing that again."

"Thanks for not thinking I'm a slut who sleeps around." Jaina smiled up at her father. "Now get the Goddamn Hell outta my kitchen!"

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Everyone agreed that the nerf tenderloins were cooked to perfection, though admittedly nobody wanted to criticise someone with Jaina's abilities with a lightsaber!

"You see, woman, that's how you keep a Solo man happy!" Anakin claimed, stretching his legs out in front of him and rubbing his belly.

"Call me 'woman' again, Ani, and you'll end up old, alone and miserable." Tahiri Veilla responded, digging her long nails into her boyfriend's thigh.

"Real suave brother." Jacen winked at Anakin.

"As if _you'd_ know anything about 'suave' Jaden." Tenel Ka Djo told Jacen coldly. Jacen regarded his girlfriend with a hint of fear in his eyes.

"Not one of you has the first idea about how to woo a woman properly!" Han grinned.

"But if you're lucky he'll show you." Luke warned.

"And if you're _really_ lucky, he won't." Leia added to a roomful of laughter.

Jaina smiled at her family's friendly banter and chit-chat.

Couple's turned to one another, sharing in their own private moments. The one thing they all had in common was the expression they wore as they gazed at their loved one.

And Jaina felt unbelievably small and alone.

"You okay honey?" Leia quietly asked from beside her.

Jaina smiled thinly and nodded.

"You sure?" Leia pressed.

"I can't do this." Jaina whispered. "I'm not ready to tell everyone yet."

Leia squeezed her daughter's hand and winked at her.

"What's wrong?" Han whispered in Leia's ear.

"Just follow my lead." Leia told him through her smile. She cleared her throat and tapped her glass gently with a fork until everyone fell silent and turned to look at her.

"Oh-oh, Mom's about to make a speech!" Jacen cried.

"Yawn!" Anakin added.

"Thank you boys. You're support is, as always, greatly appreciated." Leia tipped her head in the boys direction. "I'd stand, but I think you all know it's been a tough eight months since Jacen pulled my rear out of the proverbial fire."

Jacen blushed and lowered his face.

"Don't worry Jacen, I'm not going to embarrass you again with my gratitude." She continued, looking around the table at her family with tender love. "And in some ways it would be wrong of me to single out any one of you, after everything that you've all done for me."

Leia's eyes fastened on Han, her acknowledgement of his contribution clear for all to see before she turned back to everyone else.

"I'm nearly there though. Most of the nerve stimulators have now been removed and my surgeon is planning to remove the rest in the next month or so." She went on, but had to hold up a hand when questions threatened to interrupt her. "I thank you _all_, for your support, your help, your friendship and your love."

She took a deep breath, squeezed Jaina's hand and turned to Han.

"Han Solo." She smiled at her husband nervously. And he smiled equally nervously back. "Would you do me the very great honour of renewing your vows with me?"

The table erupted into joyful gasps, cheers and whoops.

"Well?" Leia pressed.

Han eyed Jaina suspiciously, his daughter's eyes urging him to answer.

"Because I helped you walk again?" He curved an eyebrow at Leia.

"No." She shook her head, her eyes never leaving his. "Because I love you. Always have, always will. Nerfherder!"

"Well, all right then!" That was Han's answer. The only one he was about to give with a table full of eager faces staring his way.

"Some lead!" Han whispered into his wife's hair as he hugged her to him. "When I suggested renewing our vows you laughed at me."

"When you suggested it I was pregnant and vomiting constantly." She whispered back.

"Should we leave you two alone?" Luke asked through a sly grin.

"Yeah. And take the damn kids with you." Han growled, his fingers tangled in his wife's hair, his nose sensually caressing Leia's in his time honoured expression of love.

"I thought we might have the ceremony on Yavin. With Luke as officiate." Leia suggested and gently extracted herself from Han's hungry hands. "Jaina, weren't you talking about spending some time updating your Jedi skills?"

"Ah...yeah. I'd thought about it, yes." Jaina caught on to her mother's cue. "If that would be all right with you Uncle Luke."

"You're always welcome." Luke nodded his understanding.

"Give up Rogue? Are you nuts?" Jacen asked.

"No, what's nuts is thinking I can be a moon-jockey for the rest of my life." Jaina answered. "Being with Rogue has been great. But, it's time I grew up. Time for me to find my own way."

"Spoken like a true Solo." Han winked at his little girl who beamed back at the only man she would ever completely love unconditionally.

That night, with Leia nestled in his arms, Han remembered something Jaina had said much earlier.

"Her first time." He mumbled.

"Hmm?" Leia turned her head to look up at him.

"Jaina said it was her first time." Han repeated, adding simply. "I hope he was nice to her."

"Who knew huh?" Leia smiled as she leaned up and kissed Han's chin. "Han shoot-first-apologise-later Solo has a gentle heart."

"You think the boys will mind bunking up together for the night?" Han asked, with a sigh.

Luke and Mara had secured overnight accommodation close by and it had been agreed that Jacen and Anakin would share Jacen's room, while Tahiri and Tenel Ka would take Anakin's.

"You seriously expect them to _actually_ bunk with one another?" Leia laughed. "I bet they've been making out with their girlfriends ever since we turned in."

"I dunno Ley. That Tenel Ka, looks like a screamer to me." Han observed. "Assuming Jacen can work out which buttons to press, not to mention where those buttons are!"

"I like her. I like Tahiri too." Leia smiled.

"How the Hell did our sexually inept boys manage to get themselves two little hotties like those two?" Han asked.

"Ahem!" Leia coughed. "Solo Senior didn't do too badly for himself in the hottie league either."

"Oh no Princess." Han grinned down at her. "You were always in a league all of your own."

"Han..." Leia purred. "You remember what the Counsellor told us?"

"Brrr...Did someone leave a window open in here?" He teased. "Oh no, that's right, it slammed shut this morning."

"She said we could still be intimate without the act of intimacy taking over." Leia reminded him.

"That's just code for riding the crest of a wave but not actually takin' the plunge." Han grumbled. "An' I'm getting too old to look without touching!"

"We used to make out all the time." She reminded, fingering the waist band of his sleep pants.

"Yeah, and it nearly killed me!" He complained.

Leia pulled herself up and swivelled herself to face him, intertwining the fingers of one hand with his.

"What if that's all there is?" She asked. "What if, when we finally get around to it, I can't?"

Han pulled himself up and tucked his legs under him, facing her.

"Were you scared the first time we made love?" He asked her.

"You know I was." She blushed and looked away.

"But you got over it." He tilted her face back to his with a soft finger beneath her chin.

"You were very experienced. And I...I wasn't." She smiled.

"But you got over it." He repeated.

"You have a way of making me forget I was raised as a Princess." She answered coyly.

"Kinda makes it sound like I make you feel dirty, but I'll take it as a compliment." He smiled back at her.

"You make me feel whole." She said, drawing closer. "Wanted. Desired. Loved."

Han let a soft gasp escape his lips.

"Keep doing what you're doing with your hand Princess and I am going to do something extremely childish in my pants!" He moaned.

"Intimate, without letting intimacy take over." Leia breathed into his ear as his arms pulled her to him and his mouth sought to suck on the soft flesh of her neck.

A shriek, a shush and giggling shattered the apartment's peace.

"Sounds like Jacen might have found one of those buttons after all!" Leia giggled.


	5. Chapter 5

The following morning, Jaina made an appointment with her Commanding Officer to discuss her decision to leave Rogue Squadron. He wasn't happy, but grudgingly accepted her resignation and wished her well for her future training. He'd asked her if her decision was in any way related to her recent assignment with the Killiks and she had assured him that was not the case. Her decision was based entirely on her desire to follow an alternative path.

After her meeting, Jaina had made her way to a tapcafe. Sitting on the street, in the afternoon sun, she felt at peace with herself as she sipped on a glass of iced Elba Water. Her Aunt Mara had introduced her to the beverage and it had become a firm favourite. Besides, alcohol was not recommended in her condition.

"This seat taken?" A soft voice asked.

Jaina looked up, bright sunlight obscuring her view until the voice's owner stepped forward casting a shadow.

"Jag!" Jaina exclaimed and indicated he should sit. "I thought you were on Gallinore."

"I thought you were on Sarafur." He countered and asked a waiter for a cup of half-caf.

"I see the scars are healed. Mostly at least." She drew finger along an indentation on his forehead.

"Time heals most things." Jag observed and they fell silent.

"How's your Mother doing?" He asked after a while.

"Well. Really well." Jaina replied. "She and my Father plan to renew their vows next month."

"Wow. That's great." Jag told her, before they both fell again into an uneasy quiet.

"I don't think I ever had chance to apologise to you properly." Jag finally said. "For not seeing you when I was in the Medical Centre."

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you?" Jaina queried.

"Perhaps we could draw a line under events." Jag suggested.

"I wish." Jaina muttered and exhaled, leaning forward.

"You okay?" Jag asked, concerned.

"Nervous knots." She waved him off. "I just resigned my Commission."

"Because of me?" Jag demanded.

"Strange as it may be for you to comprehend, my day neither starts nor ends with thoughts of you Fel!" Jaina snapped, rubbing her abdomen.

"Then what the Hell for?" He asked. "The Military is all you know."

"I'm leaving so I can concentrate on my Jedi training." Jaina replied and sat back.

"It is your heritage I suppose." He acknowledged and sipped his caf.

"I'm not defined by my heritage either." She said, emptying her glass and calling for her bill.

"Let me." Jag offered.

"I have my own credits." Jaina rose, biting back any further comment.

"Please." Jag covered her hand with his own. "I'd like to."

His hand was warm, soft, affectionate and Jaina felt a rush of emotion flood through her.

"I have to go." She said, quietly.

"Can I see you again?" He asked, not letting her hand go.

"Let go!" She pleaded without really trying to remove her hand from his.

"Please Jaina, just once. Before you leave for your training. Let us part as friends." He begged.

"All right. Fine. Yes." She stammered and hurried off home where she promptly vomited repeatedly.

That evening, while Jaina continued to evacuate most of what she had eaten during the day, Han stood in the doorway of his bedroom listening for a sign of any let up. A small arm glided around his waist, a soft hand came to rest on his butt cheek and his wife's head nuzzled against his chest.

"She still puking?" Han asked, although he already knew the answer. "It's not much fun being pregnant is it?"

"Finally! He understands." Leia commented, fingers teasing his chest hair.

"It was different with you." Han noted.

"Excuse me!" Leia let her arms drop.

"You were older. More mature. Plus you had me by your side!" He grinned at her. Leia gave him a wry look.

"If it doesn't get better in the next couple of days, I'll take her to the Medical Centre." She assured him. "They can give her something to stop the vomiting."

"D'you think the boys know?" Han asked as his wife began a slow caress of his left buttock.

"Jacen does. I can sense his knowledge and his concern." Leia told him. "Anakin I'm not so sure about. I think for now he believes our cover story of bad nerf, but that's not going to last forever."

"Maybe she should just tell 'em." Han mumbled as Leia's mouth began a lazy exploration of his naked chest.

He closed his eyes and let his lopsided grin form on his face.

"You horny for me again Princess?" He growled.

She answered by tugging lightly on his nipple with her teeth.

"I feel so violated right now." His voice rumbled through his chest.

Leia's mouth was at his belly button, her tongue swirling, tickling his desires.

"Up you come Princess." Han said, tugging her gently upright by the shoulders. "We both know I won't have you on your knees."

"I'm trying to keep the fire stoked!"

"I'm a Corellian. Corellian fires don't need stoking." He regarded her a moment. "Unless what you're really doing is trying to wear me out before that window of opportunity flies open again."

"You got me!" Leia sighed. "Because I'm an Alderaanian-slash-Tatooinian-slash-Nabooian or whatever who just loves to feel unfulfilled while her Corellian husband gets his rocks sucked off."

"Did that Royal mouth just speak a perversion?" He asked, nudging her into the wall and tilting her face up to his. "I think I should rid that mouth of all the filth."

His lips descended on hers, mouths open, tongues clashing.

They were interrupted by Jaina yelling for her Mother.

"Remember when we could just do this without anyone interrupting us?" Han groaned.

"We have _never_ been able to do this without _somebody_ interrupting us flyboy!" Leia told him and slipped from beneath him to go to their daughter.

In the moments she was gone Han imagined himself sinking into her silky depths, her neck and chest flushed with a growing fervour, his hands knotted in her hair. He smiled to himself and felt himself harden at the thoughts pervading his mind.

He was still grinning dreamily when Leia returned to the bedroom and flung a pair of pants at him.

"Get dressed then help me." She told him, keeping her tone light. "And bring the speeder around. We're taking Jaina to the Medical Centre."

"What's up?" He asked, trying to match her tone but struggling not to put both legs in the same pant leg.

"A little blood." Leia answered pulling on a shirt. "But she's fine, I'm sure. I bled a little with the twins remember? Anakin too. And everything was fine, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. I remember." Han cursed himself for his feeble attempt at cheerfulness.

But he was also remembering the third time Leia had bled.

The time she didn't mention.

The time she wouldn't talk about.

When everything hadn't been fine.

"You ready?" She asked, not waiting for his answer. "Good. Help me on with these pants would you?"

With them both dressed, Han went to fetch the speeder while Leia got Jaina down to the underground parking lot. Jacen and Anakin watched from the shadows of their bedrooms.

"You think Jaina's gonna be all right?" Anakin called to his brother softly.

"Sure she is." Jacen answered.

"What about the..." Anakin started.

"Sssh! We're not supposed to know about the baby." Jacen hushed him. "But...I think she'll be fine too."

Han took it cautiously to the Medical Centre, avoiding air pockets where he could and bypassing heavy traffic when possible. He had half an eye on the route, the other glued to his daughter who was being soothed by her Mother.

Once Jaina was admitted, Leia and Han had to wait nervously for news.

"She'll be fine." Leia nodded. "They both will. I know."

"You don't know that!" Han growled, pacing the floor.

"I know it." Leia repeated, firmly.

"I thought even the great and powerful Yoda couldn't see the future." Han snapped. "What makes _you_ so certain?"

"My faith." Leia growled back.

"You should have brought her in sooner." He accused. "Soon as she started throwing up, you should have brought her in."

"Pregnant women vomit, it's a well known fact Han." Leia grumbled.

"Continuously?" He exclaimed.

"Sometimes, yes!" She snapped.

"Not if everything's all right. Not if everything's normal." Han continued to pace. "You should have known that after..."

He bit back the rest of the sentence, too late, he knew.

"After losing our child?" Leia hissed. "Because _I_ vomited continuously and _I_ bled and then _I_ lost our child so _I_ should have known there was something wrong. And where were _you_ when all of that was happening, huh?"

"I'm sorry Leia." Han spoke softly, stopped pacing and held her in his arms. "I know it's not your fault. Not then and not now. I just...I'm just being an asshole."

"She's going to be fine. And so's the baby." She let him rock her in his arms.

Saying the words didn't make it so, but Leia wanted to believe Jaina had just had a scare. The same way she had when she was carrying the twins. And Anakin, she reminded herself.

"Solo Family?" A medical droid enquired. "You may see her now."

"Is everything...is she okay?" Han asked.

"Minor bleeding is not uncommon in early pregnancy." The droid responded. "And nothing of concern. Both mother and child are well."

Han and Leia breathed a collective sigh of relief before pushing into Jaina's room.

"Oh sweetheart!" Leia cried as she hugged her daughter. "We were so worried."

"I feel so stupid." Jaina rolled her eyes. "I hate this. I hate the not knowing."

"Not knowing is part of the magic." Leia told her. "Oh, but you're all right and she's all right and for now that's all that matters."

"You can come home?" Han asked, noting Jaina was dressed to leave.

"I've stopped spotting. They've given me a shot which apparently stops the continuous sickness and I just get to feel nauseous constantly instead. So yes, I can go home." She replied. "Dad, could you give me a minute with Mom please?"

Han looked between mother and daughter.

"Sure Hon. I'll be right outside." He left, feeling excluded.

"What is it sweetheart?" Leia asked nervously.

"Don't look so worried. I haven't changed my mind again." Jaina smiled. "But I _do_ need someone to be with me through this, I _can't_ do it on my own. So I hoped you would..."

"I'd be honoured." Leia agreed readily. "You're sure there isn't someone else you'd rather ask...the father maybe?"

Jaina's look gave Leia her answer.

Jacen and Anakin were relieved to see their sister home. Relieved too on hearing that her baby was quite well.

Jaina had already guessed that she wouldn't be able to keep her pregnancy a secret from her brothers for very long and assumed her Aunt Mara would very soon be aware also. If she didn't already know.

Jaina spent four quiet days at home avoiding the calls from Jagged Fel before finally agreeing to meet him at Baron's for lunch.

"I figured since you were avoiding my offers of dinner, lunch would be a more suitable alternative." Jag said, holding Jaina's chair out for her.

She ignored the gesture and took the vacant chair opposite.

Jag smiled to himself and sat.

"What can I getcha?" A server droid squeaked as she wheeled past.

"Half caf and...?" Jag asked.

"Water, please." Jaina replied.

"What flavour Honey?" The droid squeaked.

"Water flavoured." Jaina responded and the droid wheeled off.

"You know, you didn't have to come..." Jag started.

"But then you would have just kept on calling." Jaina sighed. "And I think we really need to get this over with."

"Agreed." Jag said with a smile to the droid as his caf and Jaina's water arrived.

"I think we both know where we stand." Jaina said.

"Do we?" Jag asked. "Because I thought the way we left it was kinda open to interpretation."

"You said you didn't want to see me any more." Jaina observed. "That sounds rather like a break up to me."

"I said I thought we should cool it for a while." Jag corrected. "You were so young..."

"And a virgin." Jaina sat forward. "And you didn't think you could handle that."

"I just thought you should experience a little of life before committing to one man!" Jag pointed out. "_You_ were ready to put down a deposit on an apartment!"

"What is it with men and commitment?" She demanded.

"What is it with women and needing a ring on their finger?" He accused.

"You think I wanted to marry you?" She exclaimed.

"You think I wasn't committed?" He asked.

"So, what are you saying?" They said simultaneously before laughing nervously.

"You look beautiful when you do that." Jag observed.

Jaina blushed and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"You look beautiful period." He told her.

"That life you thought I should experience? Turns out it's not so great." She sounded sad.

"So you're running away to join the Jedi version of the Corusca Circus?" Jag asked.

"I...I need to get away from Rogue for a while." She answered and sipped her water. "And as you so astutely noted, it _is_ my heritage."

"The boys'll be disappointed." Jag sat back, shaking his head. "I happen to know there's a pretty large pot riding on just when you and I'll get around to doing the deed."

"They what! They'd bet on just about anything." Jaina scoffed. "I hope you're not encouraging this."

"No, of course not!" He replied, studying her. "You've aged Jaina. Matured I mean. Looks to me like your assignment to Sarafur changed you."

"More than you'll know." She muttered.

"You want something to eat Honey?" The droid wheeled back over.

"Ahhh, give us another minute would ya?" Jag asked and the droid wheeled off to another customer.

"Cards on the table Jaina. Is there any chance for us, or are we over?" He asked.

"How much do you have riding on my answer?" Jaina sneered.

"Between you and me, I bet on the other guy." Jag told her confidentially.

"What other guy?" Jaina demanded.

"Raynar Thul obviously." Jag laughed.

"Raynar Thul's a bigoted idiot!" She spat.

"Doesn't stop him having a crush on you. Of course, most of guys in Rogue have had a crush on you at one time or another. So I could just as easily have bet on Kyp Durron or Wurth Skidder or..."

"Wurth Skidder! Oh p-lease!" Jaina rolled her eyes. "Isn't he a little old for me?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought about that Prince of yours too." Jag started, stopping as Jaina's face paled. "Sorry, that was a low blow. I shouldn't have said that."

"I asked for it." She accepted. "He _was_ too old. I don't think I even liked him all that much"

She eyed him from beneath her lashes.

"And you were a much better kisser." She blushed again.

"Much better?" He arched an eyebrow at her. "How much better?"

The droid wheeled by again.

"You two Honeys had a chance to look at the menu yet?" The droid asked.

"Baron's Special Sharing Platter for Two." Jag requested and the droid wheeled away.

"I'm watching my weight." Jaina told him, not breaking his gaze.

"You have exactly the same figure you had when you joined Rogue." He observed, not taking his eyes from hers. "I should know. I memorised it."

Jaina reached over and laid her hand over his.

"I like you Jagged. I like you _a lot_." She said softly. "I'm maybe even a little in love with you. I'm maybe even _more_ than just a little in love with you. But I just don't have room in my life for any kind of romantic intrigue right now. I'm sorry."

"That feels more like a 'maybe' than a 'no'." Jag noted. "I'll take 'maybe'. Leaves me some wriggle room for later."

He smiled at her as their platter of food arrived.

Jaina sighed inwardly. She did still love him, that much she was sure of.

_So, it goes like this Jag_, she thought, _while I was on Sarafur things got out of hand and I found myself sleeping with a guy I not only have no respect for but in truth don't even like. And as if that wasn't bad enough for my first time, I now find I'm carrying his child. A 'love child' they often call it, except there was no love involved in creating this little one, just some poorly executed intercourse and an overly zealous swimmer that didn't know when to die. So if you think you can help me bring up another man's child, then you tell me, cards on the table, is there any chance for us or are we over?_

"It's good." She smiled as she tucked into some kind of seared meat.

The two chatted as they ate. Jag paid the bill and escorted Jaina out into another warm, sunny afternoon.

"Can I walk you home?" Jag asked.

"Is there any point?" Jaina countered.

"Point is, I can spend a little while longer with you." He replied.

"You're sweet Jag." Jaina cupped his face in her hands, her eyes soaking up his features. "You deserve to be with someone who can love you back wholeheartedly."

"I can settle for half-heartedly. So long as it's with you." He answered, his arms circling her waist and pulling her to him.

"Please don't do this Jag." She whispered, her arms automatically draping around his neck. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"Seems to me..." His hand slid to the back of her neck guiding her face towards his. "You want this every bit as much as I do."

Their lips met, just a light touch at first, then moving gently to part and deepen.

When they parted, both were breathless.

_If I were to sleep with him now, he need never know the baby wasn't his. _ Jaina thought.

The shriek reverberated through her.

The pain like nothing she had ever experienced.

Like a knife, driven deeply into her abdomen and twisted. Repeatedly twisted.

Jaina clutched Jag tightly to her, gasping and grimacing.

"Jay?" Jag could feel her sinking in his arms. "Jaina? What's wrong?"

"You...have...your...'speeder...?" She asked between gasps. "I...need...the...Medical...Centre."

"But..." He started.

"Now..." She groaned and crumpled into his arms. "_Please_...I'm pregnant!"

Jag lifted her easily and hurried to his speeder, flying as fast as Coruscant's constantly heavy traffic would allow to the Medical Centre.

Jaina was admitted for examination, while Jag put through a call to her parents and was waiting patiently when Han and Leia burst into the waiting area.

"Where is she?" Han demanded.

"They're still with her." Jag replied.

"What happened?" Leia asked.

"We had lunch. Talked. It was nice." Jag shrugged. "Next thing I know, she's doubled over."

"You can go now son." Han told Jag.

"Han!" Leia admonished, softening as she turned back to Jag. "I'm glad you were with her."

"Thank you Mrs Solo. But your husband's right. I shouldn't be here." Jag gave her a gentle smile and left.

"Are you proud of yourself?" Leia snapped at her husband.

"That young man broke my baby's heart." Han waggled his finger at the departing Jagged Fel's back.

"That young man loves her. And she loves him. And if you'd just open your eyes you'd see that for yourself." Leia countered.

"Then why'd he break it off with her." Han glared down at his wife.

"Sometimes it feels easier to walk away than it does to stay and face the consequences of our actions." She replied.

"You're talking about us." He accused.

"No Han. I'm talking about them." Leia shook her head gently. "They're both young. They both wanted a career in the Military. Have you any idea how scary it is, knowing that someone you love may not make it back?"

"You think I don't know? Just 'cos I wear bloodstripes on my pants but don't wear my heart on my sleeve, you think that means I don't know?" He stared down at her. "How many times Leia? How many times did _I_ have to wait it out for _you_ to come back?"

"Now _you're_ talking about us." She accused.

Han sighed.

"Okay. So he's a good kid. And he has an exemplary record with Rogue." He acknowledged, adding. "Could use a decent haircut though."

Leia cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Solo Family?" A medical droid stumbled up to them. "Follow me."

"Our daughter, is she all right?" Leia asked. "She's...she's pregnant."

"Miscarriage was unavoidable." The droid explained. "Separation was clean and should not affect future impregnations."

"They may be efficient but their bedside manner is poodoo!" Han commented in Leia's ear as they were shown into Jaina's room.

A puffy-eyed Jaina turned to look at them, her face red and streaked with tears.

"Oh my poor darling." Leia flew into Jaina's waiting arms and the tears fell in earnest.

"Give us five minutes." Leia mouthed at Han and he excused himself, suggesting they might all benefit from some caf.

While Han was making himself scarce, Jagged Fel was contemplating the future he still hoped he might have with Jaina. On their way to the Medical Centre he had offered to call the baby's father but Jaina had explained that 'he' wasn't a part of either hers or her baby's life.

Since it had been Jag who had insisted they cool their relationship, he was hardly in a position to judge Jaina for choosing to carry on with her life. Not that he ever would judge her. All that mattered at that precise moment was Jaina. And her father had made it quite clear that Jag was not welcome right now.

It irked him. But he understood.

He was thinking of Jaina and trying not to think of her in the arms of another man when a firm hand clapped him on the shoulder.

Raynar Thul grinned at the seated Fel and tossed a small package at him.

"Congrats!" Thul said.

"Thanks." Jag replied. "What for?"

"Being winner and loser all at the same time." Raynar's grin widened.

"You've lost me?" Jag said.

"No. You've lost _her_." Raynar gloated. "But at least you've won the bet!"

"Her?" Realisation dawned for Jag, and it wasn't pretty. "You mean Jaina."

"Popping that little filly's cherry was just the sweetest thing!" Raynar gloated. "Why didn't you tell me she had the kind of body you'd want to suck on for hours and hours and..."

Jag was unable to listen to anything more Thul had to say. He flew from his perch, striking Raynar Thul with a pounding punch and sending them both twisting and rolling across the pavement.

"Never took you for a sore loser Fel." Raynar chuckled.

"You have no idea what you've done, have you?" Jag screamed into Raynar's face.

"Sure I do." Raynar grinned. "Got my third newbie in a row. And she was definitely worth the effort."

"One more foul word from your foul mouth and I swear to you..." Jag spat.

"You'll what?" Raynar pushed Jag away. "Hit me? Oooh, I'm scared!"

"Maybe I'll just give her father your name." Jag threatened.

"Ahuh. And that old man's gonna do what?" Raynar sneered.

"That 'old man' would tear you limb from limb if he knew you were the one who..." Jag started.

"Hey, I didn't do anything she didn't want me to do." Raynar rubbed his sore chin briefly before Jag laid into him again.

"And you know something else?" Thul asked as he rolled, dodging where he could, punch after punch. "She loved it...Couldn't get enough of me...Begged me to do it again … More … Harder … Faster ..."

With a final blow, Thul lapsed somewhere between conscious and unconsciousness.

Jag dragged himself to his feet, whipped the package Raynar Thul had given him from the ground and threw it in Thul's face.

"Treat yourself. Go buy yourself a conscience." Jag growled and staggered off back towards the Medical Centre.

While Jagged Fel was fighting with Raynar Thull, Leia was trying to console her daughter with soft words, warm cuddles and gentle kisses.

"I know honey, I know." Leia said, holding her and stroking Jaina's hair.

"I feel so guilty." Jaina hiccuped back a sob. "I didn't even want her. Not to start with."

"You have nothing to feel guilty about." Leia told her.

"I...I felt her die Mom!" Jaina cried. "I actually felt her _die_!"

"Sssh..." Leia rocked Jaina as she had done when she was a baby.

"I've never felt pain like that...and I never, ever want to again!" Jaina's crying intensified.

"It won't be like that next time." Leia soothed. "Next time, you'll have yourself a beautiful baby."

"You don't know that." Jaina shook her head.

"The miscarriage was clean so there's nothing nasty left behind that could cause infection." Leia said. "And there's no reason why you won't have a full and successful pregnancy."

"I just feel so...so...empty!" Jaina sobbed, hugging her mother tightly.

"I know sweetheart. I know." Leia struggled with her words. "It'll fade. In time."

"Do you..." Jaina pulled back to turn her tear-stained face on her mother. "Do you still miss her?"

Jaina was speaking of the daughter Leia and Han had lost.

"A little less every day." Leia smiled weakly.

"You didn't want to try again?" Jaina asked.

"We had you and Jacen, and Anakin, of course." Leia swept Jaina's hair behind her ears with a bright smile. "We decided you were enough."

Jaina yawned and wiped the tears from her face.

"They've given me a shot for something. I don't remember what." Jaina said, blinking and yawning again. "I think it might have been a sedative though."

"It'll be to stop any contractions." Leia eased Jaina back against her pillow. "It'll help you to sleep too. Rest _is_ the best medicine, you know."

Jaina was nodding, but her eyes were closing and Leia could sense her daughter was losing her fight to stay awake.

"That's right sweetheart. Rest." Leia said soothingly and continued to softly caress Jaina's hair.

Han nervously entered the suite, clutching three cups of caf as he edged into the room.

"Would you believe the machine was out of caf on this floor, so I had to go to the floor above and they'd only got one caf or stim tea and I figured stim tea probably wasn't such a great idea so I had to go down a floor and they'd only got two caf's so I went back up to the floor above for the last one." Han explained before finally seeing that his daughter was asleep and his wife was watching over her. "How's she doing?"

"She'll be okay. In time." Leia leaned forward and placed a loving kiss on Jaina's cheek.

"Guess who's outside?" Han asked, dumping the cafs in a recycling unit.

"I'm really not in the mood for guessing games Han." Leia sighed.

"Fel. Looks like he got trampled by a bantha." Han told her.

"What happened to him?" Leia slipped from the bed to stand before her husband.

"He has some cuts and bruises to his face and his right hand looks like he's used it to repeatedly batter a wall. I'm guessing he knows who Jaina's been seeing." Han surmised.

"You're not thinking of doing anything stupid are you?" Leia asked, her hands gripping his vest.

"Define stupid?" Han challenged.

"Oh Han!" Leia groaned.

"Don't worry. That scum's not worth it." Han wrapped an arm around Leia's shoulders and pulled her to him, kissing her forehead. "Besides, how could I do anything stupid when Fel and I have been here all the time."

Leia looked up at her husband in amazement.

"You've given him a false alibi?" She asked in astonishment. "And his bruises, his cuts? How'd you explain those?"

"Like I told you, we had to go up a floor and down a floor and back up a floor again for caf. Can I help it if the kid's clumsy and slips on the stairs?" Han asked innocently.

"How many times did he 'slip'" She queried.

"Must have been twice, three times maybe." Han grinned at her, then gave her shoulders a squeeze. "He wants our permission to sit with her. What do you think?"

Leia glanced at their sleeping daughter.

"She'll probably sleep the night through." Leia smiled up at Han. "But I think she'd like him to be here."

"Come on Princess." Han said with a nod of agreement.

Han steered Leia out into the corridor and advised the medical droid that they had no objections to Jagged Fel sitting with Jaina.

He also gave the droid permission to throw the boy out if he caused Jaina any upset. Not that he expected the boy would.

Leia disregarded her husband's comments and kissed the young man tenderly on the cheek. He blushed briefly, then entered Jaina's suite.

"Home?" Han asked.

"Not yet." Leia squeezed his hand. "Let's take a walk through the gardens."

Han had had a feeling this was coming.

The gardens were just about the only truly quiet haven on Coruscant. Protected by a generated shield, sound and external weather were kept at bay so that the bereaved could mourn their lost loved one in peace.

Han and Leia strolled hand in hand to the spot they had chosen as the last resting place for their lost infant. Hannay Solo had been two months premature and stillborn. And though she did everything to hide it, the pain of her daughter's loss still seared at Leia's heart.

A hologram lit the spot they had decided upon for it's proximity to a Ladalum bush. It showed the tiny babe nestled between Mother and Father, her parents wearing a forced smile of unparalleled sadness.

Han loathed the image but Leia insisted it was the only opportunity they'd had to hold their little girl and should be preserved.

Leia's eyes didn't leave the scene as her arms crept around Han's waist.

"Do you still think about her Han?" She asked quietly.

"Sure. Sometimes. Not like at first, I mean. But around birthdays and such." He answered.

"I still wonder what she would have been like. Blue eyes or brown. Maybe even hazel like yours. Tall or short. Full of mischief like her siblings or quiet and withdrawn. I wonder how hard it would have been for her, living with so many Force-sensitives." Leia mused.

Han hated coming here. It had been twelve years since Hannay had been born. Twelve years since she had lain dead in their arms. And it felt like a form of torture to continually ask 'what if'?

They stood, holding one another for what seemed an eternity before Leia straightened and looked up into her husband's beautiful, soulful eyes.

"Make love to me." She said simply.

His lips quivered as if to smirk, then he arched an eyebrow.

"Take me home. And make love to me." She said again, her features soft and radiant.

They left the gardens without looking back and while Raynar Thull was being treated in the emergency department for injuries received and while Jagged Fel sat gazing lovingly at the sleeping Jaina Solo, Han and Leia went home to their apartment and made long, patient, almost unbearably slow love together.

Cradling his throbbing right fist, Jag used his free hand to tenderly stroke Jaina's hair and told her that he was beside her, that he always had and always would love her and that he'd be there for her when she woke.

Meanwhile, as the last ripple of his climax threatened to rob Han completely of his senses, he rolled onto his back beside his equally satiated wife.

"That..." He gasped. "was...amazzzzzz..."

Leia turned her head toward her dozing husband and smiled to herself. Much like his beloved ship Han still had it were it counted, so what if he need a moment or two to recuperate afterwards. Even in their younger days Leia had discovered there could be times when it was touch and go as to which of the two of them would be asleep first. She usually liked to freshen up after, but the current state of euphoria sent tingles down her legs that her remaining nerve stimulators simply couldn't handle.

And besides, she wasn't done yet.

Pulling herself onto her side to face Han, she gently blew into his ear.

"...Zing!" Han finished and took a deep breath, his face a picture of utter contentment. "Just amazing!"

"Worth the wait?" Leia asked.

"You darlin'..." Han turned his face to look her directly in the eyes. "Have _always_ been worth the wait."

"What do you say, want to..." She swung a leg heavily over him and straddled his hips. "...go again?"

"I'm a Corellian." He grinned up at her. "I _always_ wanna go again!"

Leia scooped her hair into her hands and folded them across the top of her head.

Han could feel himself stirring into life again.

In the early days of their sexual relationship, Leia had been cautious about revealing herself to him. It had taken quite some coaxing before she finally exposed herself to him fully. And he had revelled in her nudity, lavishing his attention on every morsel of her body. Whatever fears she may have had, were removed by his kisses and his touch and his overpowering desire to own every minute part of her.

Half of her life had passed since and Leia no longer wondered if he found her attractive, or sensual, or even naïve. He loved her and she loved him and that was all that mattered.

"That 'counsellor' of yours is gonna spin a web when she finds out we did this twice!" Han observed, grinning mischievously. "Can we tell her it was three times?"

Leia laughed out loud.

"Let's not tell her at all." Leia licked her lips and cast him a sultry look. "But, we could still go for the three. If you're feeling up to it!"

Han's grin widened. "I am gonna ache like an old man in the morning!"


End file.
